How do you get a 4yr. old to go to sleep on their own & not come in your room in the night?

I have 4 grown children, and my feeling about this is that you don't want to overdo anything with children. Every night is excessive for a 4 year old child needing her parents. This sounds like separation anxiety, and could become a problem when she goes to school. If you can afford to, you might want to consider having her see a counselor, such as a social worker or psychologist, just to get some of her concerns out in the open.

Locking her out of your room is an option which you should use only when you and your husband need privacy. The rest of the time, she really needs to know that she can count on you to be there for her. You might set up a little cushion for her to sleep on the floor so that she doesn't crowd you in your bed. Gradually reduce the nights she is allowed to sleep in there, even letting her have the same cushion in her own room, until she is sleeping in her own room every night.

But still, there may be times when she is feeling particularly edgy and will need the comfort of having you near. Remember that your relationship with your husband is important, and she is a very large part of that relationship, so it will take a calm and loving approach to work through this.

Eventually, she will outgrow this, but children like this often slide back to old habits once in awhile. So, maybe you will manage to get three days without her doing this, and think it's solved, but then here she will come again. Most progress with children tends to revert now and then before those bad habits are gone.

Good luck!!

Lay down with her in her own bed or in her room the first night. Assure her you will go back to your room at some point in the night and will come back in periodically to check on her - and then follow through. The next night tell her you will only be in her room until she falls asleep, but will check on her every hour to make sure she is okay (she won't know the difference if she is asleep if it's every hour or every three hours). Over the course of the week, keep checking on her before she falls asleep ( every 5 minutes or so) so that she feels comfortable that you are checking on her on a regular basis. Eventually, she'll feel comfortable being alone and knowing she is being checked on through the night -even though you're in your own bed cozy and asleep. She needs to know that she is not allowed in your bed under any circumstances. If she comes into your room in the middle of the night, walk her back to her room and tell her you have been checking on her and that it wasn't time for you to check on her yet. Tell her you will lie down with her for five minutes and then check on her, just as you have been right along.

Talk to her about it. She is old enough for you to be honest with her. Ask her what would help her feel more comforatable. Then agree on a method.

Suggest a night-light or some lullabyes. Remember her fears are real... don't ignore them... talk about them. Make a special breakfast for her when she sleeps an entire night. Tell her how proud you would be. Communication is the key.

Don't be forceful and insensitive... this can create problem behaviors and emotional issues... let her have a say in the decision so that she is comfortable with it.

On Super Nanny, JoJo told the parents to calmly remove the child and put him back into his or her own bed. "You have to sleep in your own bed". Nothing more than that. The first night or two they had to do it like 3-4 times in a single night. But as the week progressed, they only had to reput her to bed once. Eventually the child fell into the new routine. The little boy was 3 or 4 I think, and very stubborn but it worked.

Get her a night light, and read her a short story. Also, make sure you don't feed her with sugary stuff before her bedtime. Hot milk usually helps. Play some soft music that will make her fall asleep. If she cries, you need to talk to her and be firm about it that she's a big girl now and she needs to be able to sleep in her own room.

This is exactly what happened w/our first. Someone once told me that the reason he didn't need a pacifier was because I was the pacifier. When his little brother was on the way, we bribed him big time. Every night he slept in his bed on his own he got a shiny monster sticker to put on his chart. If he made it through a week he got to pick a small Beast wars toy. When he made it through a month he got to pick a really big Beastwars toy. By the time his brother was born he had a huge collection of his favorite toys and everyone was sleeping solo. Incidentally, his little sibs never got to "share sleep" with mom and dad. Bribery, it works. LOL

You need to start a bedtime ritual. If you get her to do something with you before she goes to bed as part of her routine it will help. Make sure you explain to her that this is what you expect and follow through. Don't give in. When she comes in your bed at night calm her down and sit with her for a minute and then put her back in her own bed. She will eventually get the idea and understand that this is just not acceptable.

Make her bed the special bed. Everyone wants to sleep in her bed. Ask her who gets to sleep with her tonight, mommy or daddy. after mommy has then daddy. Go to the store and let her pick a special friend to sleep in her bed since you and daddy have each other she will have someone too. Let her find a doll or stuffed animal to sleep in her bed. Dont tell her she CANT sleep in your bed, have a night she can. Something to look forward to is she stays in her bed. Like... Friday night is night in bed with mommy and daddy. then slowly break her of friday night. Friday night can get to be two weeks away, then 3 till there is no more.

Do what they do on that nanny coach: placed him in mattress and spend somewhat quiet time with him interpreting or besides the actuality that. Then finally end up the lights and say goodnight. it is gonna be a frustrating few nights, yet he receives the image as long as you're consistant. do not supply in becuase he will imagine he can sway you with crying and also you'll supply in. Then communicate about it with him in the course of the day, reminding him that he will sleep in his own mattress at nighttime, and evidently, praise his accomplishments with it!

Get a nite lite. Also try giving the child a stuffed animal something that will confort her. You could also buy a glade plug in and tell her the smell is going bad guys, monsters, things that go bump in the night away.