Why is it so common for couples whom are married for more than 10 years do not talk.?

Oh hon, I'm sorry you are experiencing this. One reason is that somewhere down the line, you two stopped Dating and took it for granted that the other knew what you were going to say, so you saw no reason to say it out loud. It is hard to recapture, because now you wont have anything to talk about but appliances, repairs, car trouble and bills. Pretend like each time with him is a first date, look at him like you did when he first showed up at your house for a date. You couldn't take your eyes off him when he wasn't looking. Do like you did back then, pay attention to what he said. Don't let your eyes wonder from him when he is talking. Treat him as you would like him to treat you, like he is the most interesting and best looking person around. Don't not say something because you think he will say 'this' then you will say 'that' and it will lead to an argument. The worse thing you can do is put words into his mouth, if he really says those things fine, at least you let Him say it. And please do not tell him you're trying to fix the relationship, for he will figure you'll do everything and he wont have to do anything,plus he will become defensive. But realize you will also have to lookto yourself to see what you need to work on too..........make up ? are you in sweats? same style you wore 10 yrs ago?

Good luck........and oh yeah, read a few romance novels by Nora Roberts and you 'll find out how to act......don't laugh it works wonders!!!!!!!!!!! But go ahead try it and Prove me wrong. I'll be interested in finding out how you fared!!alaskanrange58@yahoo.com

cheyenne

I've been with my fiancee for 4 years, we have days when we don't talk. he's 40 and I'm 23, the break does us good but can be difficult sometimes. maybe you have drifted apart a bit and now see each other as friends rather than husband and wife. It's probably quite common, maybe people chose to ignore it as they see it as a sign of their marriage failing but well done you for having the courage to confront this problem x

Don't try and fix it all at once. set small goals. try introducing a topic of conversation. say what you feel about something and the ask him what he thinks. To begin with he might disagree out of habit. just go with it say, something like Oh, I hadn't thought of it like that...' Then leave it. Try another topic later or the next day. sooner or later you'll find yourself talking...

I've been there. turn it into your own private game!

I think that women grow up and men stay stuck at age 17 you have out grown each other.

My parents have been married for 45 years and they don't shut up.

I don't think they've argued since I moved out :D

Because marriage consists of one long argument with longer and longer pauses.

I've been married 15 years. I wish my husband would not talk . he won't shut-up. But then again it wouldn't be him. LOL

I really don't think this is common.