I have a friend of more than 15 years, we have kids (all boys) the same age which made us even closer....?

One day her husband started to make small talk with me on the phone and one day he called my cell late at night. (Nothing bad just talk but still it was something he never done in the past 5 years they were together) Later that night he was shot, in critical condition.....Luckily he survived but is now in a wheelchair. Before she's never allowed her friends to be in his presence or vice versa and that still continues til this day. I guess she thinks he still would do things (sexual) or try to....All of this just puts a strain on me first because of the kids second if we are visiting her I feel bad because it's like he has to be locked in a room while we are there...I don't like that! MY Question is how can I bring this up to her as us being able to all hang out after them being together after 6 years, She won't even invite me to go out with her if he's going too!!! HE'S IN A FREAKIN Wheelchair!!!!