Is defiance genetic or is it learned behavior?

My 12 year old was borne a "strong willed" child. From the very beginning it was evident that she had a mind of her own. There are many books wrote on this subject. There are some wonderful qualities to these children, my daughter is a leader and so will your child be, they do not give in to peer pressure, and most importantly they follow the rules. Rules seem to be important to them (strong willed children are rarely in trouble with the law) once they know the reason behind something it is good. These type of children are smart, my daughter is on the honor role and she is such a quick learner. Even though it is trying at your child's age, just be sure to explain why to your child and talk to him/her in a mature (they seem to respond better) way and you will find it a little smoother. Best of luck I know that age is hard!

children see the world differently than we do,,we know what stubborn means,,what hot headed means,,what sarcastic means,,they may well be within a relationship that is very stable but children learn through watching,listening and copying,,even though they do not understand how the rules work they may still think being as mum and dad do is the right way of doing things,,,,he will have a genetic make-up from you both and this will make an appearance too,there is a disorder called,,Oppositional Defiant Disorder,not rare by any means but this probably isnt anything to do with his bahaviour and wouldnt be noted until he goes to school,,keep in mind though,that when he does go to school he will be expected to learn and obey the rules so make you child understand that your rules are inportant and he must do as you and your husband say,,this is for you to show him too,learn from example.

I would (in my opinion) say that it could be more of a learned behavior. The question is do you guys demonstrate your stubborn natures in front of your son? Do you agrue or disagree in his presence because if the answer is yes then he could be acting out what he has observed from you and your husband.

Nah.

It isn't nature, it's nurture by the sound of it. Parents create their own domestic cultural norms and infants naturally adapt to and adopt these as their own, especially while they are still young and have limited social circles.

The chances are your kiddie has experienced the pair of you squaring off before and has simply learned that that is what people do.

This is why, when we lead by example, we should give a thought to the example.

Genetic. Every newborn baby has a very distinct personality. My daughter was very stubborn about not wanting to eat and wanting to sleep instead. Her insistance to have things when and the way she wants them has not changed. In fact, all my kids personalities are still similar to the way they were since birth..no scratch that. In the womb. My two youngest were very phsyical. Loved to kick me and so sommersaults in my belly and they are still very physical children.

Um.

It is a NATURAL instinct. Everyone wants to define themselves. It's like...

You made him a cage (Being a cheep person you bought an ALUMINUM cage). He is a wild Lion. He is trying to break out and define himself.

BUT, here's the catch. Sometimes lions will break out of the cage, then claim it their property and wander around the cage. Becouse if he wanders into this unkown land too far, he will wander back becouse of his safe feeling.

-Hytegia

genetics are physical, defiance is learned through your child's environment. you and your husband should try to set a better examples

I dont think its about what he learned,i think is about his personality...i am really really stubborn and none of my parents are.

its about the astrological sign and about personality...and a bit about education...but i dont think its a genetic make up...

from my experience i would say its a learned behavior..maybe one or the other parent lets your 3 yr old get away with too much. and remember too pick your battles...

i can use myself as a example in this one. my short temper is hereditary, but my father showed me how to use it when he used to rage on me .....