Ever told someone the truth, even though it hurts?

I was engaged to a man who was a workaholic, as well. He was driven to get to the top and earn a promotion as partner in his law firm.

He was constantly stressed, worked long hours, brought work home on the weekends, and even dabbled in work on vacation.

Guess what?

He made partner but I broke off our engagement found someone else who was willing to invest time in our relationship while Mr Workaholic had a minor heart attack, married, got divorced, and is now dating a woman who is 20 years younger than him.

You did the right thing.

But your problem is not the truth, sweetie, it is the man. He is not going to change, even for you. So you have to change, Stop the insanity and find someone who can meet your needs instead of constantly nurturing his.

A hard lesson but worth learning...

We should be honest with our partner. We just have to do it in the right way.I wouldn't say anything that would come off as a personal attack. That is a given to have the door shut.

Cheerfully suggest a walk down by the lake or to go get some icecream. If he says no don't get angry and don't show your disappointment. Ask him again another time. Evenually he will surprize you and agree.

Yes the truth does hurt. I don't think you did anything wrong. However, he's shutting himself away from you because he doesn't know how to deal with you. He probably wants someone who's understanding. I would advice you to be there for him and understand his situation at work. Ask if you can help in any way. Be supportive.

Sometimes we are not ready to hear the truth. the religious and spiritual section seems full of em.

And until we are ready to hear the truth then I believe that we will not.

Some people live all of their lives and don't accept the truth of a particular situation.

this "He's now turned himself off from me" is the cost when we share what we see as the truth and they don't want to hear it, know it, believe it, or see it, etc.

You're asking a question - so you are open to the answers. you may not like them and close yourself again in which case you will not be open to answers. So if YOU are not ready to hear the truth, should someone force you to listen to "the truth?"

I believe Hollynfaith has it pretty good.., don't you?

I think you did the right thing. It is not always hard to come clean with people, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

I hope that because of his actions you are not beating up on yourself for what you said.

You did what you thought was right and hoped that it would have an postive effect, not what he turned around and did.

Your friend seems to be one of those folks who, to quote Jack Nicholson from a Few Good Men: "You can't handle the truth!!"

Unfortunately this is a true fact with most people.....and your friend seems to be one of those people.

There a huge difference in telling our loved ones the truth and just coming out to insult them. That's what you did, you told him you find him dull. That may be so, but the truth would have been to tell him that all his work is making you feel neglected. Rather than owning up to your own feelings, you lashed out. Go back and make it right honey...with the truth!

You can only keep trying to make him discover new and happy places. And if, when he wants to break down to you all you can do is be there. Believe me it will happen one day his way. And if you love him you can always show him new ways to enjoy you and what you do. Give him space and he will miss you and all the new things that you have shown him how to love. Things take time, and men are not that good at expressing their self's.

Yes, you cannot hide the way you feel just becuase you think it is going to hurt him. He needs to get help and if you give him the option of seeking help with you right by his side the whole time, then youve done all you can and if he refuses I think you will have to move on.

Your truth and his truth seem to be slightly different. I mean, you believe that his working so much is not good; whereas he believes it helps him cope with the bad things in his life. You can tell someone the "truth," but they may not be ready to hear it.

All the time!