This question is from my friend about her 4 year old. He cries alot, a sad cry not a hurt cry. He can't talk.

If the child is 4 and can't talk, then something is definitely wrong. Why haven't you taken your child to a professional yet? I can't explain the crying because I've never heard of that before but he needs to be seen by a pediatrician who can refer you to a specialist. If he is not talking, you need to have his hearing checked. There may be something going on that you don't know about. Kids don't just cry for no reason, that much I do know. There is something that happened that caused him to be sad. Try to dig deeper. This is what being a mother is about. Don't give up on him honey for real. He is crying out for something, hear him with your heart not your ears. I hope you find out and when you do, e-mail me. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Maybe you need to talk to him and ask him what's wrong..About 1 year ago my 4 year old was with a new sitter, I thougth this lady was great because she was nice, religious and had kids of her own.. Well my daughter used to cry a lot, at night she used to have nightmares and cry in her sleep. I would wake up with her and I didn't know what to do. She would cry on our way to the sitters and on the way home.. Until one day I found out through a friend that the sitter would hit the kids. And that's why she didn't babysit anymore.. I was like wait a minute, she babysits my child.. Listen, my daughter suffered because I didn't take the time to ask her. I mean really, what could a three year old say? I felt so guilty and for a long time I've been angry at myself.. But if I ever catch her in the street her a ss is mine!!!!!!!!

I know it can be frustrating, but hang in there.. Just hold you child and love them...

Have you consulted his pediatrician? If he doesn't do it at the sitters and he only does it in your presence, then most likely it is because you are enabling him to act this way and get what he wants.

At four he should be speaking full sentences? When he cry's does he point to what he wants or gesture in any way?

You should get him into a physician as soon as possible. From the outside looking in it sounds like he is doing it for your undivided attention. Not that he is not already getting that. It sounds like you are a very loving parent... but if i could whimper and have someone come running ... I would do it to.... Lots of children find early on that when they cry a mothers natural instinct is to help, cater, love, pamper, and nurture... a very wise child can turn it into an under the thumb event.

Good Luck

If he cant talk at 4 years old you need to get him to a doctor to see whats wrong maybee he cant hear or something I dont know. I have a 19 month old little girl and even she says little word like hello kitty kitty mom dad and her big brothers name Jacob so if youre son isnt talking at 4 you need to get him checked out. Maybee youre son needs to spend less time at the baby sitters house and more time with you. It sounds like he might think the baby sitter is mom and youre the baby sitter. Like he would rather be with the baby sitter because thats where he is at most of the time. Youre other kids must be older and they probbaly understand a little better whats going on but youre son probably has a seriouse medical problem and you should take him to a doctor to get checked out.

I have a young friend that had the same problem turned out that her son has a thyroid problem and he was in constant emotional turmoil because of it take him to a pediatrition get him checked out physically and if that is not the case try not giving him so much attention when he does cry just let him thro a fit and see if giving him no reaction works but i would take him to a doctor first it may be medical

why is it that he cant talk is he deaf or have a condition?

I have to say every SINGLE thing everyone above me said is what needs to be done. A child definetley doesnt cry for no reason and at four its definetley not colic, so there are doctors you need to examine his body, there has to be something going on in his body that hurts. A mother always knows her sons cry, if someone is taking care of him then he probably crys as much there to. I have to agree with the lady who said the sitter was mean to her child, that has to be part of it..no matter who you are a childs cry that doesnt stop is annoying and makes you want to lash out i would start monitoring the way he acts with her. Another that often upsets my son is when me and his father were having problems and i moved out and got my own place my son would cry all night long anf if not cry then he would be mean to me and get really frustrated when things didnt go his way..but overtime his father and i got back together and now he hardly ever crys at all he just wanted his daddy around...and last but not least please take my advice on this one...spending all your extra time with your kids is not healthy for you or them...you HAVE to take out for yourself if you are always with them when you do have extra time then thats what they will Always expect from you..they need to have there time and you need to have your time...or its stressful for everyone..

I know that it is hard to be calm when there is a child screming there lungs out, but you need to be patient and try to figure out what is going on. If he does not do it at sitters then it might be that there is something that he wants to express to you and that is the only way he can do it. Maybe you should take him to a specialist that way you can both get help. They can try to fugure out what is wrong with him and at the same time help you to cope and handle the situation. Talk to him a lot, even though you spend most of your time with him make sure you tell him with words as much as you can that you love him sooo very much and that he is very important to you, that you will always be there and that he is your life. i am sure that he will understand you.

Selective mutism, EAR INFECTIONS with sinus pressure and unknown pains, autism all came to mind when you said this, so take him to the doctor. He needs help, and preferably before school. He's past the age of three and there are things he needs to be screened for. Could be a physical thing easily fixed or a psychological/emotional thing with biological basis that needs some work too. It's better not to wait any longer though. If it goes undetected because he's smart or something, he will have problems the rest of his life that he wouldn't have had if you had him seen professionally and honestly.

I'm sure he is crying out of frustration. If he can not talk then how is he going to let anyone know whats going on. There is some issues that needs to be addressed by a doctor. Do your friend a favor and take them both to a doctor today.

Wow! I think you need to explore the possibility of counseling for both of you. Not just a visit but extended. I think it needs to be addressed soon before he gets much older. Maybe he senses that you are paying attention to him to get him to stop so he keeps it up to get more attention. Seek professional help now! I have a four year old granddaughter who is trying at times. She is the middle child and is quiet and shy and very sensitive. I try extra hard with her and often it does no good. I realize that I love her as much as her sisters, 11 and 1 but differently. I try harder with her. You may have to try harder, too for your sake as well as his. Don't ever think you are not doing a good job. Look at all you wrote about him while trying to get opinions! It is plain you love him. Don't give up!