Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

What would you do , if your one and only beloved little sister hooked up with your ex husband?

Don't get me wrong I love my sister unconditionally, even tho we have lived far apart we always remained close..She is getting into a relationship with my first husband who is also the father of my first born child my son.How Jerry Springer of her huh? I'm not exactly sure how to deal with this , so if you have any serious advice ..I would really appriciate it.

Update:

I am really getting some great point of views guys..thanks and please keep them coming..what i haven't mentioned is that he was also a Real bastard..he was abusive in every concivable way..my marrige has been over for 15 years and my son is 16 today not a baby..thank god..he doesn;t understand much of it either and I do have to put on my happy face for the most part..my sister knows how badly he treated us ..in fact i moved to a different continent with my son just to get away from him.. so how could she go on vacation with him ..with my mother..Of all people..and plan on moving in with him?..i can't talk to my sister about this right now because I really am not sure if ever will..

21 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    well personally i would shake her hand and say thanks for taking him off my hands and good luck with him and u should be thankful not hateful or spiteful cuz u will have the last laugh just be patient

  • 1 decade ago

    I shouldn't even answer this because I'm not sure I have anything positive to say. The problem is, I've watched my own beloved little sister do things that made me go "huh?" and wonder if I really and truly knew her.

    Your sister may be beloved to you, but evidently there's a "consideration gap" - she isn't returning the favor equally. Your sister's hooking up with your ex may not be illegal, but it seems pretty darned taboo, not to mention icky and disloyal.

    Beyond that, well, there are probably some good reasons you and this guy got divorced, maybe some unpleasant things that happened. Does she not respect that? When it comes down to it, and she and the ex are discussing your marriage, as is bound to happen, whose side is she going to take? And gee, what about consideration of your son in all of this? Does she not understand that if he's a child, he's likely to find it all extremely confusing?

    I'm not sure how you maintain any close relationship with her under these conditions. The love doesn't go away, but the trust may be significantly decreased. And there are the questions, like "how could she do this?" or "what exactly does she think she's doing?" or "does she care about me or my feelings?" It's a lot to deal with.

    You deserve some support to get through this awkward period and to help you figure out a game plan for how you're going to help your son and how you're going to behave at family gatherings if the "happy couple" is there. (One comment about the latter: YOU have nothing to be ashamed of!)

    Unfortunately, I don't know of any support groups that specialize in this sort of thing, so it might be worth having a couple of sessions with a therapist.

    I'm sorry this has happened. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is indeed a large concern. As both your ex and your sister are adults, they can choose to act as they will. On one side your relationship with this man is over and you have no say in what he does now. Your sister has the same rights. Now, I think I feel somewhat like you do in that my best friend had an affair with my now ex-wife and they are married. The ironic thing is I miss my friend more than my ex. I really wish them the best though I don't know if I would be comfortable visiting with them.

    My suggestion is to keep the lines of communication open with your sister. I would not offer advice unless asked. Some times people really deserve each other. Obviously, both had some knowledge of each other and the past. Try to move past this with events in your own life. I wish you peace. I also think these things happen more often than we think.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just wait it out. It won't last anyway. If it helps, I think that is really disgusting and trashy. There are six billion people on this planet, so there is no excuse for your sister hooking up with your ex-husband. Try to keep your feelings away from your son, though. I'm sure he loves his dad very much.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like you love your sister more than she loves you. I can't believe she would even consider being with your ex~that's just wrong. That definately crosses the line of respect for a sibling. There are some things you just don't do, that's one of them. God, how bad is the man shortage anyways??

  • 1 decade ago

    You have to reflect on your break-up with your ex-husband honestly. If you find him sincere and honest in your relationships, then is there concern if your sister goes with him?

    However, if his behaviour is questionable, then you have to honestly let your sister know. However, the decision is still to be left to your sister. How old is your little sister? If she's still a teenager, then ask her to hold on to her decision for a few years. Her decision might change as she grows more matured.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hope it's a fad. Chances are, she's attracted to him for the same reasons you were. And she'll leave him for the same reasons. If you have a "family matriarch" who's opinion she'll respect...then have her talk to him. Failing that, send your sister pictures of you and the baby......and ask her this one questions...

    120 million eligible men on this world...and you want to be with him? Sister, I always thought you had better taste!

  • 1 decade ago

    She may have been attracted to him during your marriage, because her big sister, whom she admires, told her how great he was, prior to it turning sour. She was kind enough to not go after him, until after your divorce, and why do you care if she dates him or not? If you love your sister, be happy for her, but also let her know what he is really like, and how he changed after you got married. Who knows, she just might be trying to get him to fall deeply in love with her, so she can dump him, and make him suffer for hurting you!?

  • 1 decade ago

    The only advice i can give you is to talk to your sister work things out. If you don't talk to her nothing will be ok between the two of you and you will cause a huge family problem.

  • 1 decade ago

    You wonder why she would after knowing that the relationship ended. What makes him an "ex" for you might be the deal breaker in a relationship for her with him.

    Hopefully it won't last, so you don't have to deal with the surreal situation they are putting you in.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes that is very wrong of her, but if you think you can deal with it then hey. IF you cant talk to her hopefully she will understand where you are coming from. Tell her that would be very confusing to your child. Believe me my brother has 2sons who are also cousins. Talk about confusing. I wish you the best of luck in whatever happens.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.