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Rift between friends?
A good male friend of my wife and I is in love with another good female friend of ours. This female friend is recently divorced, but he has liked/loved her for several years. Whenever she is not married/dating, she treats him like a surrogate bf minus the sex. Recently she has started dating another guy and our friend is having difficulties being around the two of them (we have frequent outings together including other friends besides them).
We have a few weekend trips coming up and would like all of our friends to attend, but he will be sullen and withdrawn when her and her new bf are around. We do not want to exclude either one of them because of his feelings. How can we keep the peace without excluding one of them from our activities?
A slight update to some of the answers I have received all ready (which have all been pretty good I will say)
1.) We have tried hooking him up a couple times and are trying one more time. He does not help us out in this regard (read: he doesn't have much game)
2.) I have told him to tell her how he feels about the whole situation. He doesn't want to deal with it. I have in fact already told her how he feels and she has bowed out of this weekend's trip because of it.
3.) I have invited both to gatherings. The first time resulted in his drunkness and a hole in my wall. (He fixed it and felt guilty as hell later). Either way its too much drama to deal with when you're trying to just have a good time.
4 Answers
- JCLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Maybe there is another friend you can set him up with. It is hard enough for him to see her with someone else, and even harder if he is alone. Hook him up!
- 1 decade ago
Tell him to find someone to go with him or explain to the female friend what his feelings are. Maybe she will talk things over with him and come to some kind of understanding or maybe she will hook up with him.
- teresathegreatLv 71 decade ago
Invite them both to everything. It's their choice how they want to act. If he wants to be sullen and she wants to be callous, that's their problem - it's not your fault.
If you really feel the need to do something, talk to them separately. Encourage him to realize that she does not return his feelings, and he should try to get over her. Clue her in to the fact that he still has feelings for her, and in the interests of good friendship she should be delicate with his feelings and try to not rub her new boyfriends in his face.
- mks 7-15-02Lv 61 decade ago
I Understand You Are Just Trying To Be Nice.
Source(s): But You Have A live To .
