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Men, would you get upset...?
...if your wife had a penpal in prison that was serving 25 to life?
Years ago, I was in a sociology class and this lady came in to talk about this organization to keep kids out the street. In doing so, she brought up this murder case which was the foundation on which this organization was built. This story really touched me so I asked for the address to the prisoner she mentioned. At the time I was in the process of changing major of Criminology due to a proposition that relates to this case and this cases really brought it home for me. So, I started writing this guy and getting insight. When I meet my husband, then boyfriend, I told him I was writing and he had no problem. Then we got married and he saw the box of letters and started questioning me if I was still writing. We talked about it and he tried to act as if he didn't mind me writing but I could tell he wasn't okay with it. Now, out of respect for my husband I told the guy that it would be a problem for me to write.
I was writing 5 years before my husband and I got married. I respect my husband to much to continue even though he acts as if there is no problem. For him to start questioning me implied there is a problem. It over and done with just wanted opinions.
Response to answers:
-The prisoner doesn't have the address to the house my husband and I moved to since we been married.
-My husband refuses to read the letters, saying they are private.
-As stated there was a reason for my starting to write so I'm not crazy for it, it was educational. Interesting case, read the book: "Azim's Bardo: A Father's Journey from Murder to Forgiveness" by Azim Khamisa
26 Answers
- StepLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
By all things that are good, BLESS YOUR SOUL! I THINK YOU DID THE WRITE THING.It`s not every day i hear things like this. Most people now a days are trying to find a way to please them selves and not their wife or husband. I think your husband should kiss you where it makes you the happiest.Keep up the good work!
Source(s): that`s what i think - Anonymous1 decade ago
having a penpal of the opposite sex may be ok if you are single but it is really not ok once married.
And having a prison penpal is inviting disaster. Life cons have friends that read their mail and they do get out.
Something to think about.. College profs and specifically Sociology profs are about the lamest of the lame a person can be in the way of good judgement. They are intelligent but dumb as boxes of rocks.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Many guys in prison write to women - maybe innocently at first. Over time, they try to build up friendships and earn their trust. Ultimately, they are looking for something beyond friendship -- money, gifts, sex -- either while still in prison, or after they get out. Since you were writing him before you met your husband, it may be OK, but you should at least offer to let him read the letters, to assure him that nothing funny is going on.
- 1 decade ago
Although I think it is very immature of your husband, I commend your way of handling the situation. Your husband is far more important than the guy in prison and you made the right choice, but you should still talk about this with your husband and try and reassure his ego and insecurity...cause thats what it was all about for him. Communicating with him on this will make that stronger.
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- 1 decade ago
Yes, there is no reason to have a relationship with a convicted fellon. After 5+ years of writing this thug what more insight are you looking to gain?
You did the right thing.
- Scooter GirlLv 41 decade ago
You answered your own question, "Out of respect for my husband". You don't need any other reason to stop writing to this person in prison. Besides what the heck would you do if all of a sudden he got out?????
- ScottLv 61 decade ago
Oh gosh friend dump the prisoner... You have a REAL MAN and it bothers him that your writing to a Penpal? Burn All the Letters and stop the penpal stuff....
- c.arsenaultLv 51 decade ago
I wouldn;t have a problem with you writing to him, depending on what you were writing about. If it is all innocent, just show your husband the letters and put his mind at ease.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
He shouldn't be..only if there is no threat to you, him or your family.
I think penpaling is helpful.. I was just asking about penpaling soliders overseas.
I think that is the problem with the world..we don't take the time to listen because we are all too busy preaching from our soap boxes.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Most likely not, but that could depend on the type of penpal she has. If it is casual that's fine, but you hear of all these women falling in love with inmates. Man, now that I think of it. Hell Yeah, I'd be pissed!!!
