How Do I Maintain a Friendship With a Former Lover?

Question

I had a brief fling with a co-worker whom I eventually fell in love with. She got scared (her words,) and she rejected me. Now, we are friends. Unfortunately, I feel those same feelings returning.  She has said that I am perfect for her, but yet she recoils from me. Her mother tries to convince her that I am worthy, but to no avail. She gets anxiety and retreats into her shell if talk of romance begins. 

How can I maintain a friendship with this woman without these feelings getting in the way? Or, is this even possible?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

whats the main reason why she told you she was scared? coz things like that (being scared) happen, to everyone... its really hard when you're around her and talk about all these "being friends" stuffs when all you wanted to tell her is that you're still in love with her... it could be possible that you two stay friends but holding your feelings is another story... why dont you try to tell her the truth, about how you feel? ask her what she wants, then eventually get it over with...

mal_lam · Answer

dont show her 2much that you have feelings for her and try not to talk about it too much. try to find out why she's scared. i know from personal experience that it aint easy to do that but if you really care about her friendship you will take what she's able 2 give you and if it's only friendship you'll take it.
but dont let her play with you cuz some people, as soon as they know  that someone has real fellings for them they start acting funny, like when they down they know that you'll be there for her more than anybody else. so some people take advantage of the other persons feelings.

but hey, good luck and i hope for you that she's not that kind of person!!!!!

m m · Answer

If you really want to be her friend, first you need some time apart. Remind yourself that other women find you desirable AND that she isn't the only woman in this world. When you resume a relationship with her, friendly or otherwise, both of your heads will be much clearer. Things should be easy from there.

T · Answer

It will be hard, especially if you see her everyday.  I think the best way to get over her (and maybe still be friends) is to distance yourself from her until you think you are over her.  Refrain from talking romance and love.  Who knows, maybe she will come around and want to be with you.

jakkibluu · Answer

You be polite, don't act like you like her too much..try not to make her jealous, and don't use cheap shots....become a mystery to her and she'll figure it out.

RASUNA · Answer

talk with her and know what scares her.

is it something you can afford to change.  do it.

if not, just forget and find someone else.

do not waste you precious self.

girly_sweet · Answer

if u find a way let me know!

rucrazy? · Answer

you don't, trust me is for the best.

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How Do I Maintain a Friendship With a Former Lover?

8 Answers