What to do with Hubby?

She'll be in way over her head. That's not teaching her how to live within her means. That's teaching her mom and dad will get me whatever I want. She needs a payment she can afford on what she makes. If she doesn't make enough then she needs to get a better job. I would never put my house on the line for a teenagers car. Stand your ground.

I understand she's daddy's little girl, but I am from a divorced home. I grew up with step parents, and even at 18, I would never have asked my dad to loan me that much money for anything. Even if I did, he would never give it to me without my step-mothers approval. Same with my mom. I was taught the value of hard work and saving my money. I bought my first car at 18, and I was very proud to say I did it on my own. It is his daughter, but that doesn't mean he's obligated to buy her everything she wants. If she really wants something, she needs to learn to earn it herself. When she's older and wants to buy a house, are her parents going to foot the bill for that too? She needs to learn now, not later, that she's an adult and is responsible for her own toys. It may be a hard pill to swallow for her now, but in the long run it will help her to become financially independent and she'll thank you for it. Parenting isn't about making your kids happy all the time. Sometimes it's being the bad guy for their own good.

I think that your husband should open up his eyes and see that his daughter is playing him and her mother, and the two of the step parents are right in the middle. She is 18, a young woman now. What ever guilt that they have should have subsided by now. A child should not be able to run & take control of the parents lives as well as the parents should not try and take control of the childs life now that she has become an adult. I think that your husband should want to get the loan so that it will help accomplish the task that is needed at home. Not give to his daughter out of guilt! It sounds like she is using this guilt trip on the both of them and they are letting her. That is why she feels that she has them both tied around her little finger. I hope your husband wakes up and faces reality soon!

Good Luck!

yikes. I totally agree with you.

My uncle "Lent" me 1000.00 for my first car- ( when I was 16.) I didn't pay him the full amount back until I was 21.

I think you are justified in being upset and not wanting to shell out that kind of money - ask you hubby this- what if you get her that loan and the car is totaled? ( you know how teens drive) will you still be responsible for the remainder of the amount? Is the car that she wants even worth that?

He may feel guilty for having " moved on" to another relationship after her mother- talk to him about why he wants to give or let her " borrow" that much money, is it because of guilt?

if he is dead set on it- try to compromise other options- like, he'll co sign a loan for half the amount if she can come up with half the total amount ( if she wants a car bad enough she'll come up with it) or- even check the paper for cheaper cars. she might be trying to " up sell " him for the extra cash ( from how you describe her I would not be surprised.) and, maybe even point out that she can get an auto loan her self- ( she is 18) and- if she can't get approved ( due to income) then explain she's picked a car that is too expensive.

if all else fails- refuse to sign the re-fi ( if you're on the deed he'll need you signature too )

good luck!

No, YOU are NOT being unreasonable? Kids need to stand on their one two 'feeties'. I think your Hubby is being unreasonable. And remind him that there will also be taxes and insurance to pay on the car! Does he plan to pay for this too, and can "she" afford the interest that a home equity loan would cost? If he closes his ears to you - print this out and leave it by the coffee pot, so that he will see it before he goes to work! THEN CALL THE ROOFER AND the PAINTER. And after that GO SHOPPING Winter's coming!!!!

What a spoiled BRAT!! You better not give her that money. Her free ride has got to end some time. Your husband can not always put her above your needs - put your foot down and don't budge!!

Your absolutely right, a few hundred dollars is one thing but a few thousands... no way!! If she cant afford paying for the majority of the car herself, how is she supposed to repay you, pay for gas, pay for repairs, pay for insurance... and have money for life and normal stuff?

I totally can relate! My boyfriends kids only call when they want money! And he already supports them as it is! My favorite was when the sixth grader HAD TO HAVE a cell phone! I was totally angree...its not like he pays all the bills in our home, we BOTH do!

The daughter is 18....I was going to school FULL time and working FULL time at 18...I am 33 now.....she can work full time and pay for her own car.....

....and the thing with the $150.00 jeans.....it amazes me how these KIDS think they NEED all this crap and expect mommy and daddy to pay for it.......too many damn kids watching MTV and believing its reality, if you ask me.....

Once again minority opinion here.

She is his daughter. Get in a fight over this and you lose. And rightfully so. Frankly you do not have the right to refuse his spending money on her. You knew she existed when you got married. Deal with it. She is no different than any other 18 year old and for her to work she needs a car. You need to step back and take a look at your attitude. Presumably the character trait that makes him want to do this for his daughter is one of the things that attracted you in the first place. Or is this just about you?

FYI I have 2 sons 18 & 20. No 18 year old comes around unless they want money. It is his parental obligation to take care of this.

Who is paying for college?

Dad wants to show he still cares. How ever this is his opportunity to teach her about the value of hard work and the world of finance.

Increasing your mortgage for a vehicle purchase is unwise. Risk your house for kids car, come on.

The car should be the only collateral needed. If all goes to blazes bad credit and a repo car is all, not a lost house.

His daughter should show how she can afford it and full coverage insurance. Suddenly she will realize how good a $400 car looks or how much repair work can be done for $400.

Here is another idea let him buy you a new car and she can make payments on your old one.

You are completely in the right about this and your husband is completely in the wrong. He has a problem with denial and is fooling himself into thinking he'll see one penny of the money if he buys his daughter that car. Do not sign anything, do not offer one cent for this car she wants. At this rate his daughter will have her father in the poor house.

NO offense, but you are only thinking of yourself. That child needs her father. I never had anyone give me anything and had to work for everything. I will never regret paying for all, but it sure would have been nice to get help from my parents.

Maybe you are jealous and feel that your husband should pick you over his daughter. He lives with you and that means that he loves you. Let him be a daddy and help the little one out.

Have your husband look for a car for about a couple of thousand. Sometimes you can find used cars for a couple of thousand that are in quality shape. If your husband, friends, and relatives, look for a few weeks, you will probably find the car that works for her. If she is working, why not help her? Let the child and her daddy be a child and daddy.