How do you let go of anger and rage against an ex spouse that you have harbored for 9 yrs? I have prayed ..?

I'm not sure who you prayed to because there are a lot of religious beliefs out there, but if you prayed to God Almighty you might want to try this. Write a list of all the things that make you angry about your ex. Ask God's Son, to help you forgive your ex for each thing. Then burn the paper and let go of the hatred. If you lay it all at the feet of Jesus, your anger and rage will disappear. It may be gradual, but it will happen. Talk to God about all of your problems, hopes, dreams, everything. He really will show up for you.

I've been divorced from my ex for 18 years. I don't know if I'll ever get over the anger or rage. But I also remember the good times. I get where I am so pissed off around him, but for some reason still treat him civil. I really loved my ex, but he treated me like dirt. He married the ugliest woman alive in which I accused him of doing so so no other man would want her. BTW she's still quite ugly, thinner, but nothing could make that look good. I have come to the conclusion, that he cheated on me, and I'm sure on her, so I feel sorry for her more every day. So I get over him small bits at a time after all, he wasn't that good. And I've had so much better! Just gotta let it go, in your own time.

You say you have prayed so you have "taken it to the cross" but did you leave it there when you got up from your prayer? I had similar feelings against my ex for years. I would pray and "take my burden to the Lord" but I wasn't doing the next part of the verse, "LEAVE IT THERE." That's a hard thing to do. Especially for someone like me who likes to be in control of all things at all times.

Let's look at it from another point of view. Has it helped you at all to continue living in the past? Is anything going to chage ever by reminiscing or dwelling on what happened in the past? The only thing the past is ever going to do is keep you from living your life TODAY. And TODAY is the day that matters. Not 9 years ago. Forgive your ex for what he did to you that causes you harbor these feelings of anger. Even if he doesn't ask for it and doesn't want it - FORGIVE him anyway. Even if you feel like you are not being sincere in saying it. Say it and it will become sincere. I know this for a fact. I've lived it honey.

All that said put on your spiritual blinders, pretend your in a neck brace, whatever you have to visualize that will help you to remember to look forward only. No looking back. Don't waste another moment of your precious life on your past. It's not going to get better no matter how much you dwell on it. LET IT GO! MOVE ON! LIVE LIFE!

Praying God will give you the strength to let go of the past and create a beautiful new future for yourself.

I know you said you have prayed but if you have faith you should ask God to take that burden from you and it will be gone. You have to realize that the anger and rage only hurts you and doesn't hurt your ex at all. All the time you are thinking about and hating your ex is time you aren't spending moving your own life in a positive direction. I know it is really hard when someone hurts us but the hatred is a poison to ourselves and that is why you have to release. Everytime the rage comes to you - force it out and focus on positive things for YOU.

Why in the heck would you harbor feelings for 9 years? Move on and be the better person.

You should deal with things when they happen to you and not harbor them.

Could you imagine our parents coming up to us one day and say "you are grounded", and you get a puzzled look on your face and say "what for".

Then they say, well, do you remember 9 years ago when you stayed out late? Well, you are grounded for that.

Not right, deal with current stuff, not the ancient past.

My feelings about the issue, but maybe I am wrong.

I have an ex as well, and she has cost me a LOT of money, but I am moving on.

That's way too long. 2 years is about normal for recovery. What on earth is holding you to this person?? Do you still see or talk to this person? Are you dating this person. If you have no physical attachment-then by now you should have forgotten that this person was alive. Unless its children-if you have children, then its going to be tough. You can not forget someone you have to put up with at visitation or when you exchange children.

But, if none of that and you are still mad-you have a mental problem and need to see a psychologist.

Praying is the 1st step. But you have to forgive him. And if you have done something you need to forgive yourslef.

Pray that God puts it into your heart to forgive him, and He will.

Forgiving is a decision, but sometimes we need Gods help, after all we are only human.

But you MUST forgive to be able to let go of the anger. Remember the saying "forgive and FORGET" Bingo!

Then after you have done this and you still occasionally feel the way you do, ask God to deliver you from those feelings, and He WILL.

Keep at it, you're headed in the right direction!

You can't let go of the anger until you figure out why it is still there. You should talk to a therapist. Your anger is only going to hurt you and the ones you love, not your ex. Good Luck!

Hi Sue I know how you feel, but I can honestly tell you that you wont stop feeling this way until you really forgive this person and see pass your experiences with him. I can honestly say some days are worst then other's for me, but overall It is quite better once I take deep breath's and move on for the day. Hey one day at a time that is all we can do. Best of Luck!

sometimes we suffer because of someone elses careless ways,or hurtful actions. he did you an injustice, and sometimes we react in destructive ways, by holding grudges, bitterness,and being resentful.when we resist forgiving others for giving us a hurt we didn't deserve,we are the ones who pay the price, to forgive them heals us.forgiving doesn't mean the other person never wronged you, and your not suppose to hurt,forgiveness means to cease holding the wrong against the other person.revenge is god's business, you have to trust the lord will take care of him, and stop questioning.this doesn't mean an injustice wasn't done to you, but harboring this unforgivenss ties you to this person forever in a negative way.