pleaz tell me do u agree or not?

I don't think the working or not working mom is the issue, it is how important it is to the mother to have significant interactions with their kids. I have been both, and a single parent for most of the past 18 years. (I have 3 now from 11 - 19). I've been fortunate in that I could work from home the past 7 years.

It's a tough juggle to work and still tend to the house, and make time for kids. Some do a great job of it, and some see their role as chauffer, mom drives them to sports, to dance, to whatever. Checks homework, ok.

I've also seen some women stay home and do very little well. Their houses are still a mess, they cook out of boxes if at all and they interact with their kids very little.

A good mom, working or not, gets daily one on one time with each child, to talk and to listen. She knows what is happening at school and supports that child so they can do their best. She reads to her little ones, and teaches her older ones independent living skills.

This is true whether she works out of the home or not.

I had a few years where I worked very long hours and I had a live-in nanny and thought I was super mom. Then when I was on home on maternity leave with my youngest, I realized my girls were being raised by nannies and teachers and grandparents. Everyone but me. So I made a big career move and started all over professionally.

Over the years I have taught my kids independence, initially as a coping mechanism, then realizing I was doing something great few mothers, working or not realized they NEEDED to do for their kids. Guilt makes us do everything for our kids but in reality we cheat them if we don't prepare them for adult life.

So, my kids got themselves out of bed and ready for school by themselves from kindergarten on. They learned to do laundry at 10 and started learning to cook, shop and manage money around the same age.

Because they are doing things for themselves, it frees up my time so when I spend time with them, it is quality time, not maintenance time (taking care of their stuff instead of their hearts and minds).

I have to block out time for each child, even if that means chores don't happen.

I am not alone in doing this; there are many mothers working and not working that do this too.

So I don't think working or not working is the issue; it is far more about what types of interactions mothers have with their kids and how well they are teaching them values, skills and love.

My only bias is that I do think any family where both parents have hard core careers (meaning 50 hours or more out of the house) are cheating their kids out of enough quality time. Unless you can afford to pay for all the chores to be done by others, there's little time to really be involved on a personal level with your kids.

How can you parent a child effectively, if your kids spend twice as much waking time with others than with you?

ps. I think it is far more important for a parent to spend more time home with school-age kids and older than with babies. Babies and toddlers do just as well with any loving adult, but older kids need more specific guidance and value instruction they just aren't going to get from the parents if they are never together.

I believe this is a loaded question. To answer properly, would include many factors right?

The assumption is that Stay at home Mom's (SHM), are attentive to their children all throughout the day and not into gabbin on the phone or watching their soaps while their child is awake .. correct? It IMPLIES that Mom is always paying attention, teaching their child what they need to be learning at that age etc..

The Women who choose or are required by circumstance to be Working Mom's have things to take care of, like being a bread winner for whatever reason. Those Mom's are ASSUMED to be too busy, not be 'caring enough' toward their children or are not spending what some of society still perceives as quality time with their children. Doing what the SHM's are perceived as doing.

I personally believe it depends on the person involved. I have seen a working full-time Mom, teach and nurture her child more than most SHM's and that was pretty astounding. At 7 months old that child knew the name of every object pointed at, when asked by anyone.. such as show me the clock or the music box. She worked full-time, had the time to teach her son all this stuff, filtered and boiled his water and filtered it again, and the kid was reading by 3 yrs of age. So to ASSUME that all Working Mothers or SHM's are providing equal QUALITY time with their kids is a huge mistake. I truly hope that ANY parent, provides their kids with QUALITY versus QUANTITY any day of the week. I think taking parenting seriously, and realizing that you are molding a shaping a future leader, business person or plumber, would make great strides in the 'raising of our kids' than whether women work or stay at home.

My 2 copper and hope it helps!

No, at least not most of the time. I know working mothers, including one of my sisters, that spend as much quality time with their kids as they can when at home. They do everything possible to make their childrens lives better and have a wonderful time with them. I also know some sahm's that are barely around their children. They leave them with a relative or just have them watch tv. But I am smart enough to know that not all sahm's and working mom's are like this. Neither side is better then the other!

well my mum has always been a working mum and i still have a good relationship with her- then again i have always been surrounded by my nan and aunties and uncles. I think it is important to have some sort of close family, but its not essential for a mum to stay at home. I think if my mum had stayed at home all the time we'd have more arguments- even a break from parents is good sometimes.

But when it comes down to it, it should be a mum's personal decision- i know lots of both types of mums and neither give a great difference in the amount of attention they pay to their children.

I am a working mom and I don't agree that my children get less attention because I work. I have 3 children who I have never missed any school parties, athletic events or any school functions that they were in. I work but I scheduled my vacation days around any activities they had at school. My oldest daughter knew everything she needed to know for kindergarten before she even started the school year so it was a pretty boring year for her. You have parents that stay at home but that doesn't mean they actually pay that much attetion to their children. I work but when I'm off work my kids go where I go and they don't lack the attention. I know parents who don't work and they still don't go to any school functions that their children are in.

I disagree. Both my parents worked and my sister and I were very loved and paid attention to a great deal. The benefit to both parents working was that we lived in a huge beautiful home in an awesome town with lots of land and a great pool. We went on trips and had a great life. It was the best. It is all what the parents and kids make out of the situation.

A stay at home mom has more opportunity to pay attention to her kids. Whether she does or not is up to her. Moms who work simply don't have the same amount of time, but if you were to compare them to moms who don't take advantage of being able to stay at home, they do spend more time. It's quite a subjective question. I think working moms and stay at home moms both love their children very much, and for the most part show them that. In an ideal world, the stay at home mom would pay more attention, but since we don't live in an ideal world, it just depends on the mom.

Yes and no. I think it really depends on the mom.. Some working moms feel like they neglect thier kids while they are away and make the most of the time that they are together and some stay at home moms look at it like punishment or work that they have to stay home with the child so i think it depends on the mom.

NO! This debate hurts women all around. Working moms know how to find quality time with their kids. I am a stay at home mom, but I was raised by a working mother. We need to support each other rather than judge each other!

i think that kids get more attention from stay at home moms b/c there would always be somebody there when they get out of school and see more of what they do. my mom worked as far back as i can remember, (im 18 now), and i was always passed around from different family members and a babysitter. don't get me wrong the kids would get to socialize and all but the love and attention from a mother is totally different than any other person.

it really depends on the parent. I know lots of stay at home parents that do nothing but watch soaps all day while their kids play by themselves. I also know lots of wonderful SAHM that are very active, always doing things with their kids.

On the flip side, I know lots of working moms who are totally devoted to their kids as soon as they get home from work, and others who hardly ever see their kids or when they do, are too tired to do anything with them.

To some extent, It's about quality, not quantity