Do you have a 10 point joke/riddle for me?

Why do women prefer older gynecologists?

.....their hands shake

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Desperate

********************************************

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGH! T YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly WAV files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.

These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech! Support

Probably won't get the points, but it is a fun joke anyway.

Why Do You Only Want 3 Viagra Pills

A man walked into his doctors office, and asked him for 3 viagra pills.

The doctor asked, "Why only 3?"

The man said, "Well, Friday my secretary is coming over, Saturday my girlfriend is coming over, and Sunday my wife is coming home from her vacation.

The doc said, "Thats more than I wanted to know, but here's your 3 pills."

A week later the doctor saw the man at the gas station, his arm in a cast, and sling.

The doctor said, "What happened to you? Did the women all find out about one another?"

The man said, "No, Nobody showed up....."

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.

The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

..........................................

An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.

Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?"

"I have to throw this away," replied the tourist.

"You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered.

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want."

The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers.

"Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist.

"No. This is the American Embassy."

three men were in heaven. god was giving them a secong chance in life. there was a gay guy, an italian guy, and a homeless guy. god says, " ill put you back on earth. but you cant do the thing you like to do most. the italian says," i cant make pizza anymore?" god says "no" the homeless guy says " i cant take money off the street anymore?" god says no. the gay guy says " i cant have it with guys anymore?" god says no. so tey were all sent back to earth. the italian sees a pizza parlor and walks inside.POOF! he disapeeres. then the homeless guy and the gay guy were walking and the homeless gy see $100 on the street. he bends over to pick it up and they both disapeer.

A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells her, "I love a woman that does aerobics." The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!" The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get your leg up so high?"

Frank is driving a truck load of penguins across Europe to the Antwerp zoo [replace with geography and zoo relative to your city]. Near the Belgian-German border, his truck breaks down. Frank inspects the damage, sees his truck will need to be towed to a garage and so tries to flag down another truck for help.

Finally, David pulls over and asks Frank, "what's the matter?"

Frank says, "My truck has broken down and it is full of penguins that need to be taken to the zoo today! Are you carrying anything?"

David says no.

Frank continues. "Great! I'll give you 500 Euro if you take these penguins to the zoo for me."

David says, "sure." So they load the penguins into David's truck and David drives away towards Antwerp. Meanwhile, Frank calls a garage to come fix his truck.

The next day, Frank finally arrives in Antwerp. Imagine his surprise, then, when he sees David walking down the street with all the penguins; hand-in-wing, wing-in-wing.

"What the hell are you doing with the penguins!?" shouts Frank, "I told you to take them to the zoo yesterday!"

"I did," said David calmly, "but I had some money left over. So I'm taking them to see a movie today.

the they was is brunette, redhead & a Blond enter the elevtor they saw a clear liqued something on the floor the brunette bend down for a closer look Bruentte said it looks like cumm the redhead bend down & smelled it it smells like cumm .

the Blonde tatsed it she said it's NoOne for this bulding

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, the other is the husband

^_^ Have a nice day!

what has 4 eyes but can't see?

Mississippi

joke:

There are three guys riding on a motercycle, Poop, nobody ,and shut up. poop falls off so nobody goes to get him. Shut up has to go to the police station for speeding on the bike. They ask 4 his name and he says shut up. They say" be nice now" he says" but my name is shut up and there is nobody over there with poop!

The boy takes the wheat first, Then goes back and gets the fox while the chicken flies across to the island.