I have been going through a tough time with my girlfriend. It seems like we're on the verge of breaking up.

Question

We have been together for 10 months now.  I was married when we met and I left my wife of 20 years to be with her.  The marriage was not good.  It has been a struggle for us since I left the marriage as she is feeling guilty and we are truly getting to know each other.  I found out after I left the marriage that I was not the first married guy that she had been with and that it was almost a pattern for her.  She says that it was just easier for her as she didn't have to make an emotional committment.  Tonight I told her that she either commit to our relationship or it was time to get out.  I do think she is in love with me but she has become distant since the marriage broke up.  I am totally in love with her, but I'm not sure if we can get through this mess we've created.  How do two people regain the trust and love they once had?  It seems that all we do is fight and I just want her to love me like she used to.  By the way, she is 38 and never been married with no children.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

LOL how freaking pathetic, how can you regain the love and TRUST you once had, well for one it was never there to begin with since you was married from the beginning, and it sounds like you took it further than what she really wanted, even though she probably told you that she wanted more, so as long as you're giving her sex and money, without any kind of emotional attachment then you'll be alright, if not go back to your wife!!

jrw3571 · Answer

Your first mistake was leaving your marriage for this girl.  You should have left your marriage for you.  The grass almost always looks greener on the other side.  But the truth be known, it's really not that great over there either.  The whole trust thing will always be an issue because cheating was how you two hooked up.  Knowing how easy it was for the both of you, I don't believe either one of you could ever trust each other the way you need to in order for the relationship to survive.  It sounds to me that she enjoys the chase, but when it boils down to commitment, she's just plain not interested.  You know the old saying, Forbidden fruit is always sweeter, well guess what, I think you can definitely relate to this one.  I wish you the best of luck, but I really think you should move on.  Take some time to find yourself and then pursue a relationship.

jude · Answer

your not going to attain happiness, because u did this at the expense or your wife. maybe your marriage could have been better had u not been cheating. now that she has you, and your love, and you are now divorced it's not quite as exciting as it was when u were sneaking around on the wife. trust has been comprimised because of the way u all got together. can't get happiness when it was at the expense of another's happiness.

rams · Answer

Leave it to the future.  Accept it if you have a  break up. She also has a right to do what makes her happy.

yucanzee · Answer

well.......no comment....
i hope you can sort that thing out.as soon as possible.......
hmmm.you are mature enough...i know you can solve it....
hmmmmm.....don't worry cause worrying can't solve anything..do the necessary actions
do your part as a husband

sara · Answer

here comes the most hard but true answer.... follow your heart and see where it takes you......

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I have been going through a tough time with my girlfriend. It seems like we're on the verge of breaking up.

6 Answers