How do you break up with someone you love?

My first thought is this - if you were IN love with this man, you wouldn't even be considering breaking up. However, if you have genuine feelings of love FOR this person, it could be that you simply care for him a great deal and are not IN love with him. In which case, you should break up with him.

That being said, are you just running scared because of how your marriage ended? I know that for me I had issues with trust after something similar happened to me. I was in a long-term relationship - thought I would marry the man, but he cheated. I spent the next 7 years running from anyone that got too close. I almost missed out on the man I'm with now because of that. Thankfully, he wouldn't let me run so easily. He knew how I felt and called me on it. We talked and I decided I needed time to find out what I wanted. All I was really doing was being fearful to trust and running scared. By the grace of something, he waited and was there for me when I finally realized I was completely in love with him and willing to take a deep breath and trust in his love for me. I haven't been sorry for a single moment about that decision.

I'm not saying this is the case with you - or that if you took the leap of faith it would work out well. That's why it's called a leap of faith.

I guess the best advice I can offer, based strictly on my experiences, is to tell you communication is key.

If you love this man and he loves you, there is no reason the two of you shouldn't be able to talk about this. Of course if he isn't all that chatty, it may be a bit difficult to get him to open up and be willing to really hear your concerns. Let him know straight up you are considering his feelings as much as yours when you voice your concerns. You're right - he deserves to be loved completely too. And if you're not the one, then you're not the one. It is what it is.

So my second instinct is to say you probably already know you're not the one for him and he's not the one for you. It sounds that way - like you're afraid to admit it to yourself, much less to him, because you do care and it will hurt. There's just no way to avoid that if this is the case. Prolonging the inevitable is the only way to hurt him more. If you know now, you should tell him now. For both your sakes. It's not selfish, though it may feel that way.

I ended a four-year relationship with a man I knew without doubt loved me for all time. I could have had a good life with him and never had to worry about betrayal. But it wouldn't have been right. For me or for him. Facing that was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Telling him was even worse. I felt like such a heel. He was hurt, his family was hurt...but it was the only right thing to do. It's been 12 years and it still hurts me to know that I hurt him like that. But the moment I knew, I had to tell him. And you should to if you feel that way - it's only fair. I think I'd feel much worse, and so would he, if I'd waited and hurt him down the road after spending more time together. He went on with life - took him a while, but he is now married and has a child. I only know this through friends, but I hope he's happy. I know I am.

Best wishes for this road you have ahead. It's a tough one either way, but I hope you'll do the right thing no matter how difficult it is. Even if that turns out to be learning to trust again and staying with this man you're with now.

Take care of yourself - it's not selfish as long as you don't intentionally hurt anyone.

First I have to know.......

7 years and he cheated?

Any problems that would cause him to cheat or was he just involved where he should not have been?

Other than that as for the man you are with now......

Don't think that ALL men are the same....

We might do some really stupid things when it comes to women but come on.......

Most men really only understand is the stats of the NFL and how to

catch a fish..... Along with mechanical things like cars and trucks.....

Anyway most men DON'T UNDERSTAND WOMEN!!

This guy you are with now might be the real deal.....

But then again.....

he might not!

So......................

Try you relationship out and just talk it out with him. Remember....

men don't take hints very well.....

We just stare and scratch places that women seem to be offended by when we don't understand something!

SO JUST HAVE A REAL HEART TO HEART TALK WITH HIM

You'll know the answer then!

Heres to your future.....

I would sit him down and tell him that because u have been burned that u wanna make shur that he is really the guy u wanna b comitted with. Tell him that u wanna go out and date and experience different things with different people and then if after say 6 months u still love him and think he is the right guy for u, u go back to eachother and see if either one of u havent found someone better.

If you are not sure that he is the one, then he probably isn't. Why jump into an exclusive relationship after a 7 year marriage. Tell him that you are not ready to make a committment to anyone. If he moves on and finds someone else and you decide he was the one--well, that's life. Someone else will come along.

tell your new love that even though you do love him, you are having difficulty committing to a new relationship so soon after your disasterous marriage and that you want to be able to know completely that you are ready to "settle" down again. honesty is really the best way to go here. time will tell if was meant to be or not, but don't force it.

sounds as if u aren't that much into him at all. if your not sure than u need to take some time and maybe date other's and see if u still want to be with him.but be aware that he might not be there waiting on u if u do decide you want to be with him only, he may find someone else while your out looking around for someone else.

Sounds like you've made the decision, and that would be the right one for "you". After all you have been thorugh, you deserve to know before taking that leap again. Good Luck

Well you never know what you got till it is gone. But if you break up with him and finds someone else and you do not, then you have NO one to blame but yourself. Talker not talker, so what! If you love him then you love him. No excuses.

.........it's gonna be tough on the guy,....but if yuh not ready to settle down,. then dont,. corz you'll be going in 2 different direction's at once....Do plenty of dating when yuh single and unattached, corz it's a very, very, important part of your'e growth and development,..and when the time come's,. it will be you, and only you,. who will know, when the time is really right, to happily settle down with a mate!.....

You simply think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.