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In Law Help for the holidays?

My Father in Law is rich. when I met his son he was living in a scary apmt & I came with the $ into the marriage & NEVER asked for a thing. I sold my 2 houses & we bought a house together. (By together I mean he didn't contribute, not that I care because I don't, it is just a fact.) Anyway, Father in Law and mother in law are still married and have multi properties. The "farm" is 400+ acres where their kids grew up. The mother in law says to me on the phone one day that if HE died she would sell it off. So I say (by the way my husbands ex in laws live next to this "farm") if you sell it off, it will break my hubby's heart. He sees his kids (Not mine) and grand kids growing up there. So months later we are there at the "Farm" for Easter and the drunk Father in law tells me to keep my eyes off of his Farm! And that when He dies he might leave it to the boy scouts of america. HE has never appologised . We have been invited to the Farm for Thanksgiving, do we go?

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, you should go and ignore whatever drunk father in law says. He's old and doesn't know what he's talking about. I mean my dad does that all the time. He's in his 80s now and you can't take him seriously ever. People get old and mixed up - it happens to the best of us. You're obviously a decent person who loves your husband - as long as you're together and he gets an opportunity to see his family - that's the important thing - even if they are rude towards you - he probably still loves them and wants to see them even if he can't make reconciliation possible. When I see my in laws - they always make rude comments and whisper behind my back like I can't hear them - but I can. They always say something rude or as a put down and I just focus on my kids and just don't say much and spend time in the bathroom or in the guest room with a headache or something. That way they can't aggravate me, I'm making my husband happy and making the situation at least tolerable for myself. In laws can be so wacky - I hope I'm not if I become one someday!

  • 1 decade ago

    Blended families are a difficult situation. You are the step mom correct? How long have you been married? When you are in a second marriage there is a rule to give all new family members three years to adjust. More adjustment time is needed for second marriages. In the mean time you need to let what ever is said roll off your back. If you can do this put yourself in their shoes, not only your father in law, but every family member especially the step kids. Try to imagine where they are coming from and if you can't then you might want to ask, "where is that statement coming from?" Try to get to the bottom of things without escalating the situation. I would invest in a good book about being a blended family.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would say don't give your FIL any booze and if the subject comes up, tell him you don't have your eye on anything of his except your husband who you have loved and supported and leave the room. I would advise declining any more invitations to THE FARM. Sounds like he's on a trip to the funny farm anyways. And dear, just a thought, if you sold your properties, and he has one ex already living next door to the farm, you might want to be more careful with your finances, just in case. My ex tried to take a house, bank account and other stuff I had in our split, but I hadn't put his name on it. THANK GOD! I thought of it, just got a little uneasy because he kept pushing me about it, and something told me to wait and see. Sure enough, did not last. It took $5000 to clean up the mess, but I didn't lose my financial future to him. But your FIL sounds like a horse's patootie when he drinks. Avoid him! Good luck and have a Happy Thanksgiving with your hubby!

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    It is as much as man or woman firms to come to a decision if they're going to permit employees bring vacation from one 12 months to the following, and what kind of. One of the firms I labored for years in the past might NOT enable you to bring any vacation over in any respect. Other firms mean you can bring as much as five days over, after one million month into the following 12 months you lose it besides.

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  • 1 decade ago

    yes, i would go and i'd never listen to the words of a drunk person. he probably doesn't even remember saying them and if he does remember, he probably feels pretty bad. when he said those words, he might of been thinking that people wanted him dead so they could get his money and the liquor blurted out those words. i know you didn't mean it that way when you said it to your mother in law but you don't know how she presented your words to him. drunks don't apologize - they never know they are wrong. so for your husband's sake, go, enjoy the day, and keep away from conversations that you know will go in the wrong direction. keep it light and let it all be about THANKSGIVING. good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    No! Your self-esteem has much more value than anything. He contempt you! IF, you think he has caused 'Damages' to you, then take a legal action against him!

    Never in your life be respectful toward the oppressive people, either be like them, or WORST than them, that they learn!

    LOOK to my website and see how I am fighting with oppressive people in Canada! It is my view that if you allow any one in this world insult you, than you are a 'deal' person, even if you birth and have live 120 Years!

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  • 1 decade ago

    yes you go for your husband, if that is what he wants to do. because it doesn't sound like your husband and father in law get along. now if you go and your father-in-law is drinking and shows himself again. just leave early.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Don't go trust me i study law!!!! =X

  • 1 decade ago

    I wouldn't go.............I hate my in laws......they can rot..........holidays are great without their hateful attitudes.

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