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Maid of Honor- Stuck w/ all the bills???

Ok, so I agreed to be the maid of honor for my friend, but all of the other bridesmaids live on the otherside of the country and I don't know them at all. My friend is a bit of a diva and I know she expects a nice bridal shower and bachlorette party, but I can't afford to pay for everything by myself. Normally, the other bridesmaids would help out at least alittle, but they won't be around until a few days before the wedding. Do I hit them up for money anyway, or go into major debt just to keep the bride happy? I already have a shower planned & invites have been sent. I'll be spending about $500. Am I on the hook for a bachlorette party too??? Any cheap suggestions???

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You can have the bridesmaids pay for the bachelorrette party, have them help you with a certain amount.....you said they arent around because they live far away, so maybe they wont even show up to the bachelorrette party. Also, you can make it more intimate and cheaper, take your friend out by yourselve. Go to a restaurant, bar, a spa. *Good Luck*

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, call the other bride maids and ask them for help. It don't matter if they live far away. Diva or no diva it doesn't matter you can only do what you can and what you can afford - already you spent too much. A true friend would not expect the maid of honor go in debt for years for this. You should talk to the other girls and let them know that you are only going to have the bridal shower and if they want a bachelorette party too, then either they could pay for it or the bride can - I think if you do not stand up for your self you will be the maid of horror to yourself with all the debts. Do what you can not what you think you have to do - no one can force you to do anything - if your diva friend doesn't understand - guess she is not a real friend.

    Source(s): been there done this
  • 1 decade ago

    I would think long and hard about going into debt over this. I was in the same situation with a "diva" bride, I spent over $1,000 on her and now six months later she's not speaking to me and I can't afford to fix my broken car. The groom should know how to get in touch with the other bridesmaids or you could ask the bride for e-mail addresses. The burden should not fall on you alone, it is perfectly acceptable to expect the other bridesmaids to help out, too. If they won't, you can explain to the bride and like the person above me said, just you two could do something low-key and less expensive. If she's not understanding and demands more...well, I just hope you don't end up in the same situation I'm in. Best of luck.

  • Lydia
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    No, you shouldn't be stuck with lots of bills, and you shouldn't be paying for stuff all by yourself.

    You have planned something very wrong if the shower is costing you $500! Most people have them at someone's home, and people pitch in with appetizers and sweets, so your cost should really be minimal if you do it this way. Often this is done with the mothers.

    For the bachelorette party, I can't help you.

    I think what you need to do is talk to the mothers of the bride and groom about the shower.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Whoa, that's one hell of a bridal shower and I would be asking the other bridesmaids to foot the bill for the bachelorette party. You will have to be honest with them as you have explained here to us and let them know how much it's costing you. I feel you have gone above and beyond what I would expect a Maid of Honor to do.

  • binnu
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    I used Maid of Honor with my cousin. She's in the comparable issue, divorced with toddlers. no one observed or questioned why we did no longer use Matron as a replace. many human beings don't recognize there is even a distinction between the two. I say flow with what you like.

  • Chrys
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    You aren't required to do both, though many MOH do. For the bachlorette, ask a few of her sisters/aunts/cousins or other female family and friends to take over that event for you:)

  • sheeny
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I would call the other bridesmaids and ask them to send money to help defray the cost. It should not all fall on your shoulders. And the bride sounds kind of selfish to me.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    In the UK all the guests split the costs, why not get the others who are going to enjoy the party to cough up some dough. 500 dollars sounds like a lot of money to me, what are you doing?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I know it is a sensitive subject, but maybe you can talk with the bride and let her know you want to give her the best party but your budget is not all that big. I thinks she will understand she is your friend afterall. maybe you can come up with ideas togther.

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