Question for Husbands and Wives?

men look at porn cause we are men..i find my wife attractive and would never want to lose her..but i like looking at pics just as most men do ..dont worry about it ..its pretty much normal

This is serious, so please consider:

Men are sexual creatures by nature, whether they are with someone or not. Due to primal instincts that go way back, men are driven to have sex (of one sort or another) in order to extend their gene pool. However, due to financial limitations on most of us, dim views that society takes on illegitimate children, and legal ramifications for the same, most men only have limited numbers of offspring.

This does not however relieve the instinct to have sex. Nor does it keep a man from scoping out "prospects", whether real or imagined. For instance, unless a man is really vain and only looks at himself in the mirror, he will look at even the most unattractive women for a moment, instinctively sizing up the offspring potential. If a guy says he never has, he's lying.

So, the porn movies and magazines are a relief from the overactive sex drive that most men have. Some men are just too lazy to take care of a woman sexually and it's easier to look at porn and masturbate. It doesn't mean that they are not attracted to you, they are either too sorry to care or are just acting out their instincts. They also see in these materials, things and persons that exist only in their fantasies.

If a man only looks at porn and does not have any interest in sex with his partner, that may signal a problem. If you are experiencing this situation, try the following:

1) If you catch him in the act, no matter how repulsive it may be to you, join in - it will probably lead to what you want.

2) Take the lead and invite him to join you in watching - this will definitely lead to what you want.

3) Watch or "read" alone and then get some of the same outfits, makeup, hairstyles, or toys that are in the material. Then tell him about it or surprise him! You can also try suggesting playtime before you spend the money on these and see what kind of response you get.

I don't think that's it. I think that part of it is that they look at it because #1: it's a chance to seen women naked and performing sexually and #2: it's someone other than their wives. I watch porn with my husband from time to time. I think the porn/magazines just help provide some extra excitement for the guys. For some men it may be the case that they're no longer attracted to their wives so they need help getting there for sex but mostly I think its just that they like looking at naked chicks...lol doesn't matter what they look like.

It is a fix, like a drug, that can become an addiction. Men are stimulated visually, seeing these images releases a chemical in the brain, like a natural high. They say that people can become addicted to this high, and it comes to a point where they have a dependency on this chemical release such that they have to look at images very frequently to satisfy it. For some, maybe it is triggered by certain things within their marriage, but for some it has nothing to do with their wife at all. So why not just look at their wife? Well, as I have read, some men need the high very frequently, much like a drug addict might need several "hits" a day. Even if a man had sex once a day with his wife, that visual stimulus wouldn't be enough to satisfy his dependency.

For men, sex is like eating. Keep that in mind, and it will help you to understand how a man acts in regards to sex a lot better. As time goes on, he needs it more and more and more, but after he's finished and satisfied he doesn't need it for a while. Just like eating. When he gets hungry, the smell, sight, or even idea of food makes his mouth water, even if it's not good food. If he's been without for a while, the sight, smell, or idea of a woman can make him hard, even if she's not attractive.

Now, if you stick with that analogy, if a man eats steak, and he looks at a ice cream sandwich, does that mean he's any less attracted to the steak? Does it mean he finds the steak any less appealing? Of course not. Does it mean he's going to eat the ice cream sandwich. Not necissarily. If he's full from dinner, he might enjoy looking through the desert menu, but he couldn't eat any of it even if he wanted to.

The answer depends on whether or not your sex life is affected by your husband looking and watching porn. If this is something he does occasionally and your sex life is otherwise great then you have nothing to worry about. More than likely he is only doing it for visual stimulation and variety.

On the other hand, if your sex life starts to suffer because he'd rather look at porn than make love to you then you need to address the issue. He may have porn addiction.

No, I think most men watch porn or look at magazines because we are so visual. I am super attracted to my wife still and find her very sexy so that has nothing to do with it for me. Of course some guys go over the edge and become addicted...that's another story.

Some men just like to look at it no matter what. It does not mean that they are no longer sexually attracted to their wives. If they don't make any moves towards their wives for sex, then yes, they are no longer attracted to them.

A short answer. Men are visual, women are audio. There are some women I've known, including a mother-in-law, that enjoy the material you describe as much as men. This is silly I know but there are varying degrees of pornographic material. Ranging from 'softcore' to 'hardcore' and then what is deemed un-natural, which I shall refrain from discussion. I don't believe we are suffering from lack of sexually attraction to our mates. We sometimes desire a different 'point of view', more stimuli. If you were to get 'made-up' every night for a sexual encounter, it would lose it's appeal. If your mate needs more then you are willing or able to provide, as time passes, then why would you deny them their self release. If a partner becomes obsessed with pornography to the point of total shut-down to there spouse, then there are real problems and issues to be addressed.

Heck, I've told my wife of twenty-five years, 'Hey, babe, I'm going upstairs to jerk-off. If you want to join me don't be long, cause I won't be.' You know what? She has at times rushed through whatever she is doing just to watch me. And yes, I'll have a tape in the VCR. Maybe even one that we have made.

She'll give 'words' of encouragement or strip and masturbate herself beside me.

Not entirely true. Men look at porn because they fantasize about something they no longer can have. Once you get married, that's it, one women for the rest of yourlife. At leat porn and give a guy a visual escape from this reality.

It is totally normal and safe, at least in my case. But my wife doesn't know, but I would never ever cheat on her.

When I was younger I used to think it meant he wasn't interested in me, but we watch porn together and it can be a total turn on. As long as it's all out in the open. If my husband was lying to me about it and hiding it from me then I might be upset, it would give me the impression that he was guilty of something. Watch it together, talk about it, try new things. It can be great!