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to those who have been cheated on, those that cheat and those that have control?

My sex drive is very high...higher than my spouse. He is very satisfied...I want more. I have told him so...but nothing has changed. I do not want another relationship...I just want to be satified sexually. For those that have been cheated on...how do you deal with it? For those that have cheated...what tipped you over the edge and what emotions follow? For those of you hanging in needing more...how do you manage? I just do not know what to do but I know I need and want more. I want to know how it effects all involved. Please...I need serious, mature and helpful answers.

16 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, there is much more than just sex in a marriage, nevertheless I do understand needing more and not getting it, we are not all the same, some of us will need much more sex than others, and many times we overlook the fact that sexual compatibility is a very important factor in our relationships, but not necessarily, the most important one in a marriage, for example you could very well find in an adventure a very compatible sexual partner that would not measure up in any other way your spouse and may very well be a promiscuous bandit taken advantage of your needs, (unfortunately you will probably not find this out until the sexual spell has come down and then it will be too late). Be very careful in your decision about how to satisfy the extra needs you have, if you care and love your spouse try looking for ways to improve your married sex life, if its not possible and you still retain the hunger, the you should consider leaving your husband and start looking for the right match. Good Luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You don't say how long you have been married or if the difference in your sex drives has always been different. So, I will do my best to answer based upon the information here....If you are willing to risk your marriage and hurt yourself, your husband and who knows who else....then go ahead and cheat....but chances are it cannot lead to anything but heartache and guilt......better option would be to try to stimulate your husband with some different things....there are lots of books out there that deal with this topic...so you are not alone. I think in most relationships you will go through periods where one persons sex drive and desires are stronger than the others....it takes work to keep the spark alive and to broaden your sexual pleasures with one another....

    In the mean time....try masturbation to satisfy your immediate cravings....go online and research some of the sex toys available for women....there are many that can help satisfy you.....adamandeve.com is a good site or there are many others....then start looking for ways to excite him and make him want to make love more often....This is difficult but there are lots of things to try including counseling...there are professionals that deal with these very issues....Good luck and hope some of this was helpful.....

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Being cheated on is one of the hardest things to deal with. The first time it happened, I threw up, but got over it. the second time was not as painful, the third time I left her. I am still very sick over it and miss her. I would forgive her still. everyone tells me what a fool I am. But you need to communicate better with him. once you are able to open up the doors of communication, the sex life will get way better, I know this for a fact. Don't just say I need more sex, that puts pressure on him. you have to let him now that you really want him.. it will take time. as for the time being, learn to masturbate well. get your climax. you can do it. good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    I would do what ever you have to to feel satisfied. There are toys as others have suggested, but they don't completely satisfy. There is also cyber sex while using your toys. But there is also finding someone to take care of your desires. I feel not being sexually satisfied causes more marriages to fail then any other cause. I have cheated on my wife and would do it again.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Cheating is very mean and causes a lot of hurt and distrust. If you truely love your spouse then you will not even consider cheating. Buy yourself a couple sex toys and some porn movies to watch and see how that goes.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't cheat. It is never a good idea or the right thing to do. I was cheated on and the pain is very difficult, the feelings of betrayal and loss of trust. There is no excuse she could give to justify herself. If you want more, divorce him and date alot OR find other ways to satisfy yourself (I wont give suggestions).

  • jude
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    once u cheat theres no going back to what u had or felt with your husband. if he finds out, he may forgive it, but the marriage and trust will be forever lost, there are ways to satisfy ones self without going outside the marriage for it. the effects of cheating lasts forever, sometimes there is no going back, the guilt u will feel will overwelm you. if u love him don't do anything to betray him.

  • 1 decade ago

    This much I will tell you, if you do cheat and get caught you will never have his %100 trust again and that will distroy your marriage. As for the extra sex learn to do it yourself. They have all kinds of wonderful toys now a days

  • 1 decade ago

    Have you ever considered using a dildo or some other aid to help you masturbate? You should masturbate in front of him. Hopefully he will join in. If he is very satisfied and you are not then I would say that self gratification is the only way to make up the difference.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well what will drive a person to cheat is if they isn't getting it at home. you have told your husband you want more and he haven't change you might need to buy a toy. if you don't want to cheat on him with another man. what will make me cheat if i tell my man that i need more and he wont give me more so i get someone that will give me more.

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