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my partner split from his wife 4 years ago he has 2 children with her?

he has spent the last 4 years going through the courts etc etc and yet still she is being a complete ***** about when he sees the kids, he has done everything he can legally and also emotionally by trying to talk to his ex wife, and yet she seems to enjoy making him suffer, he is supposed to have them every other weekend but he hasnt had them for nearly 2 months because everytime its his weekend there is always an excuse for him not to have them. she takes the mobile of the eldest child so he cant ring even though he brought the phone for his eldest and now he seems to have given up fighting for them because its just soul destroying. the eldest is nearly 14 and the youngest is 7. he now feels that maybe he should let go until they are adults and then they come looking for him what does anyone else think?

Update:

im afraid court cases about children seeing there father is different in england he has been before the judge about 5 times in court its not the same in other countries the police arnt interested and will not get involved over child custody

10 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's their father and he needs to keep fighting. If I were him, I would want to be able to say I never gave up. I know I wasn't around as much as I would of liked, but I kept trying.

  • 1 decade ago

    If he has the custody papers in hand when he goes to pick up the kids.... and she refuses to let them go.. all he has to do is call the police and they HAVE to go by the court papers. If she has a problem with it..they will tell her to call her lawyer and get them changed, but the children must go with their father as court ordered. I have seen it happen. She can only get away with this for so long before the courts will step in. Not sure why some women do this, it only hurts the kids and ruins a good relationship with their fathers. I understand the hurt your husband must feel, but when the kids are old enough they will be able to stand up to their mother and set her straight. He should not give up as this will give her more against him and make the kids feel like it was Dad who never wanted to see them. Stick to it!!

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that if he is denied visitation on his day, he should take the visitation order, call the local police and request their assistance in enforcing the order. They will help.

    He doesn't have to be nice to his ex. But, he can't just give up because his ex uses the kids as a weapon. Those children need both a mom and a dad.

    Encourage him not to give up. After a few documented events (in the form of a police report), he can take her back to court on grounds of violating his visitation rights.

  • 1 decade ago

    He should not let go! Unfortunetly he has one of those nightmare ex-wives. He needs to start fighting her in court. Everytime she does not allow him to pick up the kids as scheduled by the court, he needs to contact the court and file a complaint. The court order is enforcable and if she does not comply, she can be held in contempt. The kids will figure out on their own where the problem lays as they mature. DON'T GIVE UP ON THE KIDS!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Don't give up! I've been in that exact spot. My ex would simply tell me that I wasn't going to get to see my son and close the door in my face. I spent thousands of dollars and countless hours fighting her. Its worth it. Every time I do get to see my son. ( and she still fights it) i know i did the right thing. I know how he feels. He feels like he is harming the children by fighting for them. And he may be right to a degree but what he has to remember is that he's not the one causing the harm. Its his ex. And someday his kids will know that. All he's got to do is just keep up the fight. Use the advice you've gotten here. Call the police. You may have to MAKE them help you but you have a legally binding document in your hands. They have to enforce it. Alot of times they don't like too because they think they have better things to do but its what they are there for. Just remember... don't ever give up.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell him not to give up cause that will make the kids think he does not love them anymore and that will hurt them very badly . He just needs to go to court and let the judge know that she is making excuses when it comes to his visitation rights. He can get this settled but it will have to be done incourt. good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    You both want counseling in case you want this marriage to paintings. you ought to get a third party in contact. She is a lot out of line, in spite of the indisputable fact that it would not appear like she sees that. yet to boot, I even ought to assert the spouse of your corporation spouse is easily not helping issues and she or he desires to end sending you stuff too. Be consumer-pleasant. think about to also be separated for a at the same time as earlier she realizes how intense you're. this is going to damage the little ones, yet in case you do not take a intense step, you reside in denial and she or he will be able of proceed employing you. do not enable her. Get your individual position for a at the same time as, tell her that's so that you may have area to confirm issues out, you at the instantaneous are not filing for divorce yet you've emotions that favor to be taken care of out too. And tell her she has to settle on. She both cuts off ties with this guy or your marriage is over. era.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's a sad situation. It seems to be true that his ex enjoys making him miserable. So, show her that it doesn't make him miserable. Have him act like he doesn't want to see the kids, or he's too busy one weekend when she needs him to watch them, she'll start getting on him about not spending time with the kids.

  • 1 decade ago

    If he gives up then all his kids will know is that he abandoned them. Both your partner & his ex need to get into councelling together & learn how to be proper co-parents for their kids, so that they'll be able to put the kids 1st, & not run their own agenda.

    She needs to understand that she's hurting her children everytime she uses them to get back at him.

    As for you, this is their problem to resolve. It would be best if you kept your distance as much as possible.

  • Bella
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    if he lets go, his children will never forgive him.

    and i have got to say...what on earth is he doing anyway???? anytime the mother denies him visitation on his court ordered visitation days she is in violation of the court order. which is a crime. and is punishable by fines and jail time. anytime she does this, he needs to report her. EACH AND EVERYTIME!!! all calls that go unanswered need to be journaled. the only reason he shouldn't have access to visit his children on his days, is because they are hospitalized or dead. there is no other excuse. ever.

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