For those stepmothers out there, do you really get along with your stepkids or you will try to ruin relation?

I grew up with step-parents and I love my step-dad and I hate my step-mother, my step-brothers were the same way they loved the guy their mom remarried and hated my mother. My kids love my new husband and hate their fathers new wife. I have three step-kids and honestly we tolerate each other. I feel that when it comes to a step-mom that it is not going to be easy no matter what. A man coming into a childs life is one thing they are looked at more as someone who works and fixes things BUT a woman coming in is more this person is doing everything that MOM does and not like she does it, she is making it her house, her rules and daddy is changing and the kids resent it. More with girls than boys. I told my husband flat out that although I would do for his kids as I do my own that I also expected the same respect from them and they would have the same rules, chores, disipline etc. We have had plenty of battles and almost split up more than once but we never let the kids see it as it would only give them more ammunition. A man loves his kids just as a woman loves hers but he has to be willing to support his wife and make a united front. You can love your kids but you can't let them run your life as one day they will be gone and then what.

I do love my stepchildren although it is very difficult at times trying to have a peaceful family home. I have 3 stepchildren ages 15, 12, and 4. I have an 11 yr old daughter and we have an 11 month old baby. Full house. The 12 and 4 yr old live with us and I stay at home. So I am in a difficult situation as the discipline does fall primarily on me. The 4 yr old is not a problem but recently the 12 yr old has started acting out more so I have pulled back with her and an letting her dad dole out the discipline. I still correct her, hopefully she will see the value in my lessons. If I didn't correct her she would interpret it as not loving her, although she would never admit that in a thousand years. My husband and I try to present a united front and try not to argue about the kids. But I must admit that we have had some big ones in the past over the children, although not in front of them. I pray we will make it for all of our sakes especially our young son, but a blended family is one of the most difficult situations I have ever found myself in.

My stepdaughter is 9 years old. I do get along with her. But my situation is different as her mother passed away when she was 2 years old. My children have a stepmother and she is not very nice to them at all. She was very young when she met their father and always felt threatened by me, so she took it out on my kids. It all depends on the people involved in the relationship and if they can overcome some obstacles. A step parent needs to remember that the child has 2 parents and you are just a step parent and should not put in your 2 cents unless asked. I hope this helps

My parents were divorced when I was 1 my sister was 4, my father remarried a couple years later. I loved my Step mom and got along with her well. On the other hand my sister was a terror to this day they do not get along at all. I think it is different in every situation.

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I'm a stepmum and l love my partners kids to pieces. Of course there are times when we argue but that is normal, this happens in the best of families.

In the beginnig it was hard as they live with us but through time and effort we have made it.

Now we are a happy family.

So far so good, but I only see her 1-2 times a month.

sThe trick to getting along with your step children is to remember that you are NOT their parent. They have parents. Make their parent make them behave themselves if you have a problem with the child bring it to your spouses attention and make them parent the child you should not be the disciplinarian ever it is not your place.

My brother married again recently and his new wife is anything but nice to the son from his first marriage. She regards him as a nuisance and he lets her away with it. I wouldn't stand for that for a second.

No, I hate dealing with other peoples children as my mine.

I wish I would of never gotton myself in any of that crap.