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My lawnchairs are starting a Union, requesting better hours, more breaks, and full access to the liquor bar. I am thinking of just selling them all on ebay and buying new ones, but what if the new ones also start a Union? What's next...a garden tools Union? I am trying to decide if I should just forget it and eat some frozen cat food or pierce my sideburns and build a canal between my house and the Moon...
2 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Clearly your only option is to enter three way discussions with the lawn furniture union and a government mediator. Perhaps if you were able to guarantee job-security and health benefits your chairs would be willing to negotiate on some of their demands.
Any long-term international/interplanetary projects, such as the aforementioned canal to the moon, should be put off until these domestic labor issues are resolved.
Your other option is to make like Wal-Mart and fire all of your hardworking long-term employees and hire a cheap temporary workforce that you will never allow to unionize or to access benefits. In your case this would mean taking all of your fiesty lawn chairs, tools, etc... and purchasing some cheaply made garbage that you'll replace after a year of use.
Of course your decision depends on whether or not, ultimately, you have any ethics.
- flywhoLv 51 decade ago
collect union dues from them!
While you're at it, collect from the tools and tax the liquor bar.
You should be able to retire comfortably from the proceeds.
