Should I disown my family to save my marriage? My wife cannot stand them.?

Why not compromise with your wife? Keep contact with your family, but don't allow them to visit your house, and visit them without your wife so that she doesn't have to see to them.

You've got to let her know that you love her and your family and that you don't want to live without either, but that you're willing to keep the two separate if it will make her happier.

Tough decision. I don't think I can help much as I am not sure how one can divorce a family? Perhaps you can "detach" yourself a little?

That can always be done I think. If anything, it can be done for a while then things will get a chance to settle down a bit, variables change etc etc.

If for some reason that cannot be done (and I find it difficult to believe from were I am standing ) Then I am too much of a coward as far as leaving a woman and I would NEVER leave my wife unless she was unfateful, let a lone a wife I have no problems with.

So, I would loosen up on my family a little/a lot and if that didn't make any difference to the relationship, I'd let her make the decision for me but I wouldn't be the one breaking the marriage.

Other people might think that partners can be expendable, I'd say they come first.

Do NOT disown your family, as it would be a great disservice to them and to yourself. Your wife may not be able to stand your family, but that doesn't mean you feel the same and she needs to understand that. Severing ties with your family would also mean that any children from your marriage would also be cut off from their grandparents - again, a GREAT disservice to both sides of the family.

Your wife should understand that your relationship with your family is not meant as a sleight on her, and it's not a case of taking sides. You love them both, and (hopefully) both will be around for a long time to come. If she doesn't want to see your family, then that's up to her - but it is not 'love' if she is making you stop.

How you react to this situation will be an indicator for what is to come. If you are willing to walk away from your parents, siblings, and extended family then what else will you be walking away from?

It sounds like she has already made up her mind and if she's trying to file for divorce there appears to be little hope left. She is advising you to not even enter the country she is in so this doesn't sound good. I understand in your culture, the divorce rate is very low so it may be difficult for you. Just understand that the more pressure you put on her, the more you will drive her away. As tiny as your chance is of reconciling, I suggest you back off of her. This may increase your chance of winning her back although the relationship seems doomed. I don't understand why you two married so quickly, maybe you fell in love but maybe she had other intentions. As hard as it is, you will need to leave her alone. Don't give her the money for the divorce, let her carry the expenses. Both of you went into the marriage together, now that she wants to dissolve it, it's her responsibility to carry the expenses.

NO, you should not divorce. Do not disown them. Is your wives demands unreasonable as for your family?

IMO When you marry...you marry that persons family too. You just tolerate the in-laws and live with your spouse. Many, Many of us have dysfunctional families, SO??

My former SIL had an argument and value disagreement

years ago. They can still be in the same room,but I never know how they cannot forgive and live and laugh.

Your wife may need to grin and bear it, swallow her anger and smile, find some good in Uncle Bob and Aunt Sue, MIL.

Your wife may need to visit a personal counselor for knowing her issues on why she feels this way. Conquer it, don't let it divide you as a family.

People do divorce on this issue, but think about it do you wish your you and wife to tell the kids we split cuz Mom hated Granddad's habit of _____. oh brother, how petty.

I hope you can resolve this with some common sense and caring, love. I will be thinking of you.

I don't think you should have to disown your family... or divorce your wife.

You can't save your marriage by yourself.

You need your wife's understanding, her love and support... and she needs your understanding, your love and support.

There needs to be some sort of compromise between the 2 of you... and it can be worked out if both of you are willing... where there's a will, there's a way.

I have been ain a similar situation. You shouldn't have to choose. They are still your family and your wife should respect that. Perhaps an agreement of time you spend with them but she doesn;t would work?

I had to finally come to tersm with my husbands family who constantly made promises ( to visit, do something,pay back money they borrowed from us) but they almost always cancel or don't live up to what they say. The thing is that I know that and I do what I do for them because that is who I am. I have accepted not to expect much from tehm and it makes it a whole lot easier on me. It's hard enough to see my husband hurt by them let alone have his wife adding to it.

I love my husband very much. We have been together for 12 years/married 8 of them. The very first night I met his family members--and they are a huge family---I was pulled away from my husband (my boyfriend at the time) and very rudely and aggressively advised that I was not liked simply because he is so special and no one will ever be good enough for him. How well do you think I like them? His family is DISFUNCTIONAL as it gets. I speak freely to my husband about how they treat me and we limit our time with them. that is how we compromise. He gets to see his family--who have a longer history with him than I. And I bite my tongue a lot but still stand up for myself. My husband has also advised his family that he loves me and will not tolerate any disrepect to me from his family. He advised them that how they choose to treat me is THEIR choice and so they are the ones making the decision to disown/disengage from him. He also advised me that he understands my frustration but he also won't tolerate any disrespect to his family from me. I wouldn't want anything but respect for my family from him so I agree to control my frustrations with them for his sake. Marriage is a give and take---sometimes you do all the giving and sometimes you do all the taking and sometimes its a little better equation. True love doesn't keep score.

I don't think you should have to disown them. I think as long as they are not interferring and causing problems in your daily life, then your wife should come to some sort of compromise about them.

If they are bothering you two on a daily basis and causing problems then I would ask them to please respect your marriage and give you some space.

Nobody should disown their family for the sake of their partners. You could get professional advice from a qualified councellor on how to improve communication channels between them.

Try talking to both of them to find out what the problem is unless you already know? Your family want the best for you however they should respect your decision of who you wish to spend your life with. You could distance yourself temporarily from your family but I would efinitely tell them how you feel. Good luck.