How can I find out if there is really a restraining order making an ex girlfriend stay away from my boyfriend?

If it were repeatedly violated and nothing happened then it might not exist. Or maybe the local police could just tell you.

If there is a restraining order, it would be filed with the District Clerk in the county that the BF resides in. Restraining, or Protective, Orders must be taken before and signed by a judge. All documents signed by a judge are kept with the District Clerk for that county. His name and DOB would be needed. A timeframe would make the search easier. These are a matter of public record, so anyone can look them up. But, you will likely have to pay, especially if you want a copy.

You need your boyfriend's name and date of birth. Call up your local police non-emergency number and ask if there is a protection order in effect. They may or may not tell you.

You can't really do anything until they tell other wise. Sorry if I'm not helping any!!

if it was against you- you should have been notified of a court date. the "third person perspective" does nothing for that question.