Joint Custody - Pros and Cons?

I don't believe child support or the amount of involvement should determine whether anyone has the right to take away anyone's custody...in other words, unless the absent parent is deemed an unfit parent, then there should always be joint custody. In fact, in many states, that's the only way to go.

Also, if no custody has been ordered in the past, then you already have a "joint custody" arrangement And even with joint custody, there is still a custodial parent...the parent with whom the child has his or her primary residence for school zoning, on medical records, etc...and the other parent has visitation.

If the visitation is set up to where the child lives with each parent equally, then that's a visitation issue, not a custodial issue...same as a child visiting a parent every other weekend...that is still joint custody, just different visitation schedules.

So, let him have joint custody, but arrange the visitation schedule to meet your desires, until the child is old enough to voice his or her own opinion.

Joint custody can work if both parents get along and work together. This works when both parents are devoted to being the best parents they can possibly be for their child - they keep their childs' best interests in mind; the parents unfortunately are just better friends than a couple. There are no strict guidelines that each parent feels like they have to follow, and the parents can "go with the flow" of what feels right at the time with the child.

However, if there are power struggles or other issues, it can be a real mess. Each parent is just as entitled to the child as the other. It can turn into a free-for-all. You want to pick your son up from his fathers? You can - if it's okay with daddy. If the father says no, you can't force him to let your son come home with you.

If your son's father is interested in being a father, it could work, but clarify with him that you guys will have to work together, the two of you are a team, and there needs to be a mutual respect and understanding between the two of you - you are both there to do what's best for your son, not to get back at each other or fight.

Good luck!! Wishing you the best!!

Joint Custody can work well as long as both parents can get along. My ex and I have joint custody of our daughter, he still says and does things to piss me off, but I have to take it and grin because I Can't change the person he is. First off, be sure you protect yourself legally, get a court order stating that you have full PHYSICAL custody and that NO parent can take your son out of state without the other's approval, then worry about visitaiton and Child support. Don't have arguments with your ex, especially in front of your child. When you have to talk to your ex, do it in a "business only" way even of you KNOW that he is deliberatly trying to piss you off! If you have any more questions or need any more advice, email me, I'd be glad to share my kowledge with you!!! Good Luck :)

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