How do I keep from hating men after I was cheated on by my husband?

Talk to some men who are total victims of the same crime. For instance: ME. My "starter" wife cheated on me HORRIFICALLY weaving a massive web of lies and deceit, terminating our marriage when I was 26 only to marry her "affair", a 52 year old man with a face like a buckshot catchers mitt. This happened after two kids and our first house, sometime in 1994. After they got a divorce (a scorpion can't change her nature...check Aesops fable of the frog and the scorpion on that one), a few years went buy and she came back and wanted to get back together with me AGAIN! At this point I had been alone and angry for so long that for some stupid reason I went along with it (this was in 1999).

Guess what: The Psycho B*tch did it AGAIN...cheated on me AND married the GUY after we split AGAIN. Now I might seem like two tons of really gullible with a healthy dollop of stupid sauce...and yes...I was...BUT I wanted to believe. 7 years later I am married to my FIRST wife, she is virtuous beautiful and kind, and I could not be luckier.

My advice is:

A - Dont go back when he crawls back, he will still be a lowlife when that happens...and it will

B - Love yourself so much that you attract good people into your life - take some time off from feeling like you need to have a relationship, and when it happens, and it will happen for you just like your ex or soon to be ex will most assuredly fail, it will feel great!

C - I call my new wife my FIRST wife, because she deserves that level of respect. For your info, my starter wife is on to her 5th HUSBAND NOW! Yes you heard it right! So know that evil is not gender specific, and that you are not alone.

I am so with you and have been struggling with the same issue. Then I look around and see my sister, my best friend and another close friend that are very happily married with faithful men. I also see hurt men that have been cheated on. It wasn't all men that did it, it was a man you chose to be with. Find out why you chose that type of man so you don't do it again. There is hope... I have to believe it and I hope you do too.

I have finally gone to a counselor to find out why I am making destructive choices. My husband and I were 42 and he cheated on me with a 27 year old girl that was in one of his classes. I had a hard time for a while. It has been 2.5 years and I still do not trust my judgment, but know one day soon I will!

Depression is when pain out weighs our ability to cope with it. Be careful with being depressed - what you have gone through is extreamly painful.

Sadly, some people cheat. People, not men- OR women. People. So, even though you got burned, you've got to remember that not every guy is a jerk. Lots of guys don't cheat. By lumping all guys into the cheater category, all you do is guarantee you'll always be alone. Yes, you may meet another cheater. You may get burned again. But, next time you may meet the perfect guy for you. Are you going to give up on love? Forget about meaningful relationships? My ex cheated, and yes, it hurt. But, now I'm remarried, and we'll celebrate our 15th year in June. Even though I never thought I'd want another marriage, I got lucky, and married a great woman.

Hi Friend...

I'm sorry this happened to you.

In a nutshell, I think that your issues with men will be resolved when you meet one in whom your trust is well-founded. Now, I know it's going to be hard for you, as it was for me. I lived with a man who was my daughter's biological father, and what I went through with him, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Six months after I finally showed him the long-overdue door, I met the man who is now my husband of many years. I found it excruciatingly hard to trust him in the beginning. He knew I had issues concerning trust, and he took great pains not to give even the slightest appearance of betrayal.

It took many years for me to develop into the confident (and not the slightest bit possessive!) woman that I am today. I guess what I'm saying Hon, is that there ARE wonderful, trustworthy men out there who are looking for a woman as honest and trustworthy as YOU. Now this may sound strange, but if you find a man who has been through the same thing as you, it could be a plus for both of you. You'd both know how it felt to be betrayed, and you would each take great pains to never inflict that on another human being.

You sound like a very together lady, and I just know that Mr. Right is out there looking for you too! But you must give him a chance to find you :)

First thing on the next go-a-round do some dick/tracy and find out about your mates parents? Do they have a healthy long term commitment?

When a guy cheats it seems like more of a control thing.

Cheating is a big step!!!

Also, something better ,will come along.

You'll just have to come to a place of healing where you can objectively see that it was his problem and his choices. They had nothing to do with you.

There are good guys out there. There's no harm in dating for a long time to make sure he's the right one for you.

My ex cheated on me three times......I was single for a few years when i met someone that I felt I could trust....now 5 yrs later im still happily married...believe me you will never get totally over it but the feelings of mistrust come less and less often

Don't let him win by hating all men. He was a jerk but that does not mean that all men are jerks. Move on and let love back in your heart. He still has you if you become a man hater because of him.

hey, you were cheated on by an asshole. Take your time with this. Trust me, that is why is isn't safe to get married anymore. All the cheating and mistreatment, who would want to. Just enjoy friends family, and stay single, you don't have answer to no one.

You have to remember that not all men are the same or do the same things... You need time to heal and get past this and take the time you need to heall and them slowly start dating again when you are ready.