Spending time with daughter activity that became something else.?

I understand your pain. Children can be so insensitive. She doesn't understand that you wanted to spend time with her alone. She's found a fun activity and wants to share the fun among her friends. So, your activity with your daughter is no longer bowling---find a new activity. You need to think of something that only two people can do or something that a boyfriend can't do with you. A visit to the spa? Get your nails done? An arts or crafts activity? You need to plan something that the bf will really despise so that he won't be tempted to come along. Every time she invites someone, change the activity. She may catch on, she may not. At least this way you've approached the problem without turning it into her problem. Children just don't understand our need to spend time alone with them. I have a 15 year old who just doesn't get it either.

I hope you have luck with this.

First off... it's NOT stupid to want to connect with your daughter... secondly you should be flattered that your daughter has found a pass time that is physical and doesn't require loud music or a dark room to do it in... Your mistake was trying to nail her down to a single activity. The thing is... you live together... you know almost everything there is to know about each other already... what is there to talk about one on one? To engage her and to show her that you are more than a "mom" Be a little more creative/adventerous... have "historic" moments with her. so that down the road... 5 years...10 years...40 years down the road you can sit down with her over a cup of coffee and a photo album and remember how much joy and what a perfect team you two were. Sure it's nice to say "we used to bowl together"... But what will you have learned about each other?

Step on a ledge with her as your only support... hold her hand as you both step out of a perfectly good airplane. load up some bicycles... and hit the road for a week... If you can't do that... show her the sights... the world is a big beautiful place... share in some of those sights...create memories that only include the two of you... that's what you really want... don't say anything about the bowling... be proud that you intorduced her and her friends to a fun activity... just get more creative.

This generally is a complicated age for teens. I have raised four of them and one million gave me the run of my existence. I went via plenty of the equal feelings that you're having, and it was once now not exceptional and was once very difficult on our loved ones. My recommendation to you is anything plan you comply with, love her. I nonetheless have no idea if I did the precise proper matters, however I did all I would to hold my love for her alive in order that our bond might be powerful within the coming years. She is now 25 and the mummy of 2 adorable ladies and I am so completely happy that we're near. She isn't an energetic member of the church, however is a well character and has a well husband. I am so completely happy for this daily and if it in no way will get any bigger than this, I am thankful. The results would had been such a lot worse. Have a bit of speak to her approximately moms and dads being individuals, too. I suppose children maintain us on the sort of pedestal that once we fall(your husbands despair) they only cannot manage it. When they observe that individuals of significance are fallible, it's going to pass a ways closer to stabilizing her feelings approximately her dad who relatively demands her help proper now. Good good fortune, I recognize hard occasions would be forward.

Listen, it has only been a month. It is wonderful that she has begun to engage in the bowling activity with friends and boyfriend. Jealousy is a mother's privilege. (smile). We all want our children all to ourselves.

Why not change the activity monthly? A spa day. A movie day. A day to eat whatever you like. Nothing beats spending time with a daughter. A mani and a pedi day. Anything that gives you the opportunity to spend "quality time with her.. The laughter, the confidences, the smiles and the frowns cannot be duplicated. No one can take her from you. No one. You are a great mother.

I totally understand. The thing is you have to remeber what it was like when you were a kid. In other words, to her it might just be "Bowling night" with the emphasis on the bowling. Maybe you can take her someplace before or after that will give you time to be alone with her for building the relationship.

Actually, I think you should be glad that your daughter likes spending time with you enough that she wants her boyfriend and friends there too....as long as you aren't shuffled off to the side and just paying for everyone! Now, your next step is to come up with other things to do, like someone said, something spontaneous and spur of the moment where it is difficult to invite other people along. Good Luck, she's lucky to have such a concerned mom.

It doesnt sound stupid!

This was something you wanted to do as a special time for you and her - why don't you sit her down and explain to her that your time together is precious, and that if she'd like to use this particular thing/ time to be with her friends, you understand, but that you'd like to find another time/activity for just the two of you. Tell her that it's hard for you two to build your relationship when she's focused on her friends and boyfriend instead of you, but that it's important to you that you have one-on-one time. If this is to FIX your relationship, be up-front about that too - it may be that she wants to avoid the heavy duty chats, so check what she wants out of it, and ensure your time together is fun for her too.

good luck!

You should be really flattered that your daughter wants you to hang out with her and her friends, it means you are a really cool mom and a lot of parents would kill to be in your shoes. Also, expend your activities. tell her this:

"How about a shopping trip to the mall? just us girls" and then you have your one on one time with her.

Part of life is that kids grow up and have their own lives and social environment. I am certain you would not want your daughter to become a social outcast and you can't and shouldn't prevent your children from growing up. Our job as parents sometimes is to step aside and give them wings to fly. No matter what, she will always be your little girl, I know...

look at it this way at least she really enjoyed what you have introduced her too you should be happy.

Find a new activity for the both of you which will only be possible for the two of you.

I take my girls to the spa and we get eyebrows waxed and nails done and spend time preening oursleves and then finish off with a nice lunch do something like that and make it unpredictable and spontaneous so that she doesnt get a chance to drag her friends in as well

Be thankful you opened up something fun for your daughter and her friends and boyfriend to do. They could be doing something a lot worse. Nothing says you have to stick with bowling. Do something different, maybe go have lunch or dinner together. Let them enjoy the bowling.