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Michele A asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Do you have to pay for everything in this situation?

I have 2 family members coming to visit me. I live 1500 miles from most of my family. They are coming at different times. Of course they want to see the sites, etc. I am currently saving all my extra money for a family trip that has been years in the making for my husband, kids and myself. Is it expected that I pay for everything or take them all over the place, thus spending my own money when they come? I am not a cheap person, just really trying to make this trip happen for my husband and kids.

Update:

actually they invited themselves. I don't mind, I miss them, but really have no extra cash to spend in the city.

Update 2:

oh by the way, they will be staying at my house

Update 3:

no, I am going out of the country for my vacation.. to visit my hubby's family..

16 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Just provide a good place to stay - stock up on good food and drink - be a great host. When you go out and site see, let them pay their own way. If anything, they should treat you to a meal or two as thanks for hosting their stay. --- also, if you don't want to go somewhere (and you are their transportion), just lend them your car and relax.

  • madill
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Ugh...i've got been there! besides the reality that for the period of slightly diverse situations. i grew to become into residing on my own, working finished time and going to college finished time at 18 (by using decision) and all my acquaintances had to try this and that and that i had to ultimately say no because of the fact I had to pay expenses overdue and it grew to become into getting to be too a lot! i'm at the instant pregnant with our first infant and my artwork in many cases gets presents, plant life, etc for peopl ewho are ill, get married, etc. we've one worker who took cost and desperate to assemble $3 in line with month from each and every worker to place in the direction of those presents. that's a lot greater handy doing it that way for my area because of the fact then you quite are not paying a lot each and every of the time because of the fact there won't unavoidably be an rate each and each month yet you would be paying some money each and each month. i'm hoping this helps!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Personally, I don't see how it's your responsibility to pay for their vacation.

    Try to do things that are free and sit down with them and ask them what they'd like to see. Maybe they can make a choice if you have the cost info available to them reight away. You could offer to drive (if you're off work) to the destination simply say "Ok, we can go there and I insist on driving &/or paying the transportation cost" that way - they know they have to pay addmitance fees, but feel good because you are being a gracious hostess

  • 1 decade ago

    Get them some brochures from the chamber of commerce, about what to do around your city/town, or make a list yourself. Send it to them, so they can choose their itinerary themselves, in advance. Especially list those things that are not free to see. If you want to show them some sites, pick things that are free, or very inexpensive. Like doing a driving tour of the city at night to see the lights, or during the day to aquaint them with the city. In our city, the zoo has no admision fee, but the parking costs, and certain displays cost. Warn them in advance, casually, that the parking is 5 bucks, and the display is 5 bucks, hopefully, they will get the idea that you mean for them to pay for their admission. Take two cars, that way they have to pay!

    I'm afraid you are stuck, even if they invited themselves. If you have a relative that is on very good terms with them, have them call them, and say something like, "I hear you are going to go see Brad and Jane and the kids. You know, Brad doesn't make a huge amount of money, they are on a tight budget right now. I'm sure they would love to see you..." and that gives the visitors room to say, oh, don't worry, we are paying for everything!

    If you and your wife both work, you are under no obligation to take off work. Make inexpensive meals for when they are there, put some sandwich fixings in the refrig, stock up on cereal and bread for breakfast, they eat what you normally eat. You do not have to take them out for a restaurant meal if you do not wish to, they should take you out. and they should give you a nice hostess gift when they leave, be prepared to say what you might like if they ask.Say, for instance, Oh, some towels for the master bath would be nice. Then they can decide the amount and quality to buy.

    I have personal experience with vacation moochers. My parents were vacation moochers. My Mom's family were mostly career military, and moved around a lot, and everytime they were re-stationed, they could depend on us to descend upon them. Sometimes they took us out, or sightseeing, sometimes not. We went twice a year, every year, to family and class reunions to my Dad's family, and they put us up for 3-4 days, and fed us, and had clean sheets for us. Mom always helped with the dishes and the cooking.

    I will never forget my Mother's comments after we visited New York city and her sister's house. The sister had done a driving tour around with us, and Mom pointed out she would have liked to see certain things, and stopped somewhere. Well, she should have said, sister, we want to see the statue of liberty, we will pay for gas, and admission for you and the boys.We just need a tour guide, so we do not get lost.

    To our family's credit, they were always welcoming, except one time at her brother's house, and I took care of that. Their house was in Virginia, battlefields and antique stores to see, and the second day, after a very cool reception, I told my uncle that I was going into town, and would stop at two battlefield sites on the way. and would anyone like to go. These activities were free, just gas money needed. He thought I meant I wanted to see the whole battle site, and explore. No, just stopping and reading the monument about the battle, and looking around for a few minutes was all I wanted. We went, a car load of us, he drove his car.

    What always got me is my parents lived very close to a large city, sites to see. Only twice did someone come to see us, one group stayed with us, another stayed with the in-laws. We took them siteseeing. My parents had a very small house, no guest rooms, no extra beds, one sofa. No one ever wanted, or could, stay with us. there was no opportunity for my parents to repay the mooching.

    Hope this helps a little, good luck. PS, does your vacation plans include some mooching off those relatives that are visiting you? Maybe it should! LOL.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I would just take them to one major museum of their choice and take them out to dinner. You are in control. Take them sight seeing through the city it doesn't cost anything. Not to be rude but if they want to see more then they should pay for it not you. Have fun on your family vacation.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No, For example, if you went to Six Flags, every one would buy their own ticket, at a restaurant, separate checks, that is normal, according to most people, unless you are hosting a "make a wish" child or something like that. don't stress out, they do not expect that of you. Enjoy your visits.

  • 1 decade ago

    If they want to go site seeing let them go by themselves or offer to go along with them. Just give them a list of things to go see and the prices and let them decide what they can afford. You are not obligated to pay for anyone other than yourself.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just take them to your house for dinner. I wouldn't expect anything else from you.They want to see the sites, but want to see you and your family as well. It's cheaper and more personal.

  • 1 decade ago

    no you definitely don't have to pay for their vacation, especially when you are trying to have one of your own. It would be nice if you went some places with them (but not paying for their activities), but let them go places on their own too.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Since it's your family they'll probably be chipping in.

    Part of the question, though, is who invited? If they invited themselves they should pay but if it was your idea you should assume you're paying.

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