How do I help my 4yr old not be afraid to go to bed in her room??

Whew! That is a tough one. Each child handles tramua and terror in a different way so there is really no easy fix. Even though adults may see their fears as silly and unsubstaintated they are very real to a child. Be understanding and don't let anyone ridcule her for her fear. It is very real in her little mind.

I would start with letting your child help you lock up at night before they go to bed. That way they are assured the locks on the doors and windows are secure. Tell them no one will get in with everything locked up tight. If necessary put a chair or one of those door jammer under the knob of the door so they know it is secure.

Next take the time to look under the bed, in the closet and anywhere else they want to check before they go to bed. I like the idea of the monster spray. Give your child a flashlight to sleep with and have a bright night light. If that does not work leave their light on. What does it hurt to burn the light all night if it makes them feel safer. Try making hanging angels to hang from the curtains and ceiling to protect her. Maybe a special doll that will help keep her safe. Night time prayers never hurt anyone.

Talk about these night time routines during the day and let your child know that although you are doing this for them now, they should be feeling better in a few days/weeks and not need to do them everynight. Even after you stop the routines there may be occasions when it is necessary to do them. Some kids never outgrow their fear of the dark---I know! To this day I can remember the trauma of some of the night terrors I had but, I also remember my dad running to me everytime it happened and holding me tight until I went back to sleep.

Please be sure if your child cries out to you during the night that you immediately go to them. It is important that they know they can trust you to protect them even if the fear is nothing. I am not saying don't put your child in bed with you on occasion but everynight does not work, you need your privacy at times.

I know all of this is time consuming and you are tired at night yourself. Make sure your child goes to bed well before you do so she will feel safe as she goes to sleep. Be patient, hopefully it won't take long to get through this stage.

And don't forget to have a firm heart to heart with your nephew!!

Tell her that "monsters" is a name for something that scares you, usually because you don't know what it is/or understand it.

Take a walk in the woods together during the day and point out the shadows, animals, sounds, etc... Talk about how they look/hear kind of scary and then investigate them further. Show her how that creepy looking shadow is caused by a branch blowing in the wind or how that sound is just a squirrel scolding you for going into its' territoy.

Buy her a dream catcher to hang in her room. Explain how it will catch all of the bad dreams so she will have only good dreams. With my son, we open his blinds every morning so the sun can burn away all of the bad dreams that were caught the night before.

Buy her a little angel figuring from the $ store and put it on a shelf in her room to protect her from anything she might still fear.

My mom also told my son that the reason owls come out at night, is to watch over all the little boys and girls and keep them safe while they sleep. (She lives near a ravine and he can hear the owls when he sleeps over at Grandma's - this used to scare him until she told him this story - he's 3).

Also, my son has a portable cd player in his room so he can listen to music or stories (borrow them from your local library) at bedtime. This has become a favourite part of bedtime in our house. A flashlight beside the bed and a night light help too.

If all else fails, make a sacrifice of your nephew to the monsters. Once they eat him, they'll be too full to bother her!!

First I would kick my nephews a$$ from here to kingdom come. Then after that, I would use monster spray to keep the monsters away. Get a can of air freshener and make a fancy label for it and then take it into your daughters room every night and spray the room with the "monster spray" and tell her that it will keep the monsters away. I know that is lying to your child, but sometimes a parental fib is what you have to do. A night light would also help.

I would have your nephew apologize and the send him out with a big stick to chase all the monsters away. Let her watch him go out and do it. You might still keep monster repellant "just in case"

But if they've been chased off she'll know they aren't right outside waiting to come in.

It might also help change your nephews attitude. It would probably work best if he does it but if not ask if she would feel better if you or daddy do it. Let her know you'll tell the monsters they aren't allowed in and scare them out of the woods.

Kids really believe in scary things but they also really believe that their parents are the strongest greatest people on Earth use that to your advantage and good luck.

I had a son like that - so one night in desperation I took a can of air freshener and covered it with duct tape - until it was all gray-colored. I printed off a label on my computer that said "Monster Go-Away Spray".

I showed it to my son, and then I let him spray it underneath his bed, in his closet, over the windows and in the doorway. I then let him put the spray by his bedside - where he could reach it in the night if he got scared. It actually worked!

I told him that monsters can't stand certain smells, and that when he sprayed that smell that couldn't stand it and would run far away. It worked.

It's worth a shot that it might work for your little girl.

Good luck!

first you should woop that little nephew..... and then you could put a nightlight in her room and tell her he was just kidding and that there are no monsters or boogeymen if that doesnt work move her bed into your room and as time goes by start moving it toward her room keep reassuring her that you will protect her from anything and maybe get her a teddybear to sleep with at night. maybe get her a flashlight she could use if she got scared at night ....a little to much info sorry i got carried away!

You get a spray bottle and fill it with water. Then on the bottle write "Moster Be Gone". Then before bed everynight you spray it everywhere and tell her that now all the monsters can't get her.

I tried some things light soft music and lights... but finally what worked for me is that I told her about dark spirits and light spirits. How usually evil is represented by black and white represents angels and good. I told her that our pets our good and pure and love her and would protect her. She now takes the white pets (we have 2 with with white fur) to bed with her. She won't go to bed without them. I was cautious that she realized that people in white clothes are necessarily good people. It worked for me, you just have to word it short, basic, and on their level.

Tell your nephew you'll crack his butt the other way if he doesn't stop scaring your child. Whenever she cries, send him in there to deal with it so you can sleep.

Please love him only and tell brave stories