How to exclude family members from wedding?

my fiance's parents divorced when he was 5 and his father's side (whichi is absolutely gigantic!!! 5 kids, all at least had 2 children who then procreated a whole horde of children, even my fiance can't remember all their names, and they're his realtives!!) has basically ignored him for the past 15 years. we are only inviting his grandmother(his grandfather died before i came into the picture) to the wedding, since she is really the only one who has spoken to him. on my mother's side, well, we don't talk to them, so we are not inviting them. instead we are inviting my mother's foster parents, who have actually spoken to me and acted like grandparents. my point is, even though your dad will have to listen to them complain, you should not invite anyone that will make you uncomfortable on your big day. it's not about them; it's about you and your future. trust me, they'll get over it! if they ask you about it, calmly tell them that you had to keep it small, and that regrettably meant leaving some family mebers out. a little white lie can go a long way.

First, sit down with your fiance and decide how many (as in number) of people you want to invite, say 175. Ask your parents who they would like to have at the wedding, but tell them they can only have each 60 people they would like to attend. So that's a total of only 120 people for just extended family, then add your attendants, and finally add your friends to total 175 if that's how many you want. If you have a large family not everyone can attend, most people understand this. Leave it up to your parents on who they really think should be at your wedding. I'm sure you don't see your extended family more than once a year if that. I have a pretty large family and right away we decided to not have an children there, unless they were nieces and nephews. If people had a problem with that they didn't have to go. We set up exactly how many people we wanted there and then got lists from our family members. We let them know if they needed to cut things down. Some people might be hurt by not being there, but weddings are expensive and at $50 per plate it can get ridiculous. Good Luck!

I'd talk to your dad, and see how he feels about it, since I'm assuming this is his sibling. Explain (calmly) your feelings about this, how you haven't seen these people for 5 years and really would rather they not be at the wedding. Bring up the budget if you need to, say you don't want to leave someone off the guest list who you feel much closer to so you can invite these people you really don't care much for. If he feels strongly that they should be invited, you might have to suck it up and invite then anyway, but just the aunt and her hubby, I wouldn't invite the cousins no matter what. You honestly won't have to spend much (if any) time with these people at the wedding and reception, just a gracious "thank you for coming" will suffice here, so don't worry about their making you uncomfortable at the wedding, unless you're concerned with their behavior at the wedding/reception (ie: they get drunk).

Have a chat with your dad....he's been listening to these people carry on his whole life....and so there will be ONE MORE thing he wont hear the end of......its the old consider the source. But if it makes your dad uncomfortable, then it comes down to who is paying....If he is helping pay for the wedding/reception then you have to suck it up.... use seating charts to keep them at bay....If you and your fiance are paying, its all on you and he can just keep shrugging his shoulders.... If the grooms family is paying...well then you are both off the hook...lol One last thought...no one is going to make you feel uncomfortable when you put on a veil...seriously, there could be a family of clowns in the back and it just wouldnt matter.... so put it in perspective....what is the worst that can happen? If the problem is that they are drinkers give the bartenders specific direction and permission to shut them off. We had a couple of ushers assigned to a couple of family members for a recent wedding....and it all went fine. If it is just that you don't know them and conversation is awkward...oh well...all you talk about that day is how beautiful everything, including you, is. lol Good Luck

I feel for you on this I am going through the same with my sister and her kids, I am inviting my brothers because I am close to them, but my sister and I do not get along, and her kids are as bad as her. You have to do what will make your day the most meaningful, if certain family just makes you feel out of place or make you feel less of a person do not invite them

I should add that even my parents don't want my sister and her tribe, same thing my brother don't want to see her

I would just invite who I want to invite. Talk to your dad about it. Let him know beforehand that you will not be inviting ALL of your aunts for personal reasons and are just worried about the backlash if you invite one aunt and not the other. But I still wouldn't invite the aunt and her "spawn". WHY be uncomfortable with someone on your wedding day by inviting someone you are not comfortable with???

Talk to your parents and see what they have to say. It may cause a lot of problems in the family, not just for you, so you may have to just suck it up for them. If they aren't hard-pressed on your inviting them, then leave them out! It is your day, and being uncomfortable on your wedding day would suck, your stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sorry you have to deal with all of this when you should be floating on cloud nine with your upcoming nuptials. You could always flip a coin ;)

Spawn! Ha I love it!

I think you may have to forego your "comfort level" and go ahead and invite them all. If I can say this though, you will be so busy and consumed on your wedding day, you wont even know they are there probably. Except for a quick hello and Thank you for coming, you wont interact with them at all. So that bodes well for you. And remember this is your wedding day, everyone who will attend is going to be happy for you and want you to have the greatest day, they wouldnt do anything on purpose to make you uneasy.

Good luck!

Since more than anything you're worried about how your dad will feel, talk to him. See if he understand & it willing to get aggervated by people over it. My fiance' & I both left people out of the wedding (our dads family oddly enough), we both mentioned it to our fathers, explained our reasons, & it was understood. If there are problems there, I'm sure your dad will understand. I see no reason to invite people who would make your day uncomfortable.

So, you want to explain exactly why you are wanting to be so vindictive to your family on your wedding day? Because it's YOUR day & you have control?

There are some people that you automatically feel uncomfortable around. There's something about them they emit. I don't know what it is. So stay away from those people. You don't have to associate with them at your wedding. And who says they'll even come.

I understand wanting only those you LOVE at this special moment in your life, but you should be concentrating on the day & what you're about to do, not these relatives.

You will have to decide the best route to take. You don't want to make Dad's life miserable but yet you are still considering it. I think you need to talk with Dad.