why is it, that any time someone hears that you got married, they are happy for you? but when you tell them?

I know! When I got divorced I threw a party, and every year on the date of my divorce I threw a party (until I met my now husband). I was thrilled to get away from my cheating, abusive, controlling ex. I always told people that they should be not sad for me, I was happy to be divorced. And on the occasion they asked me why we got divorced, I told them it was religious differences..I was Lutheran he was satan. ;0)

Well, I don't know about you, but for most people the process of splitting up and getting a divorce is a rather traumatic one - not just in a legal sense (although it certainly can be), but in an emotional sense, too. When people say they're sorry to hear about your divorce, they don't mean to say that you would have been better off to stay in a marriage, or that you're worse off now that you're divorced. All they're doing is acknowledging the emotional trauma that usually accompanies such an event. Good for you if you were the lucky exception, and the divorce did not at all affect your well-being; count your lucky stars, because it's not the case for most people.

My own divorce was very easy in the legal sense - we didn't have kids, and didn't fight over anything, so it was relatively painless in this sense. However, the emotional toll it took on me and my family was great. I felt I was certainly better off without him, and now I am re-married to a wonderful person. But I readily admit that at the time it was a very difficult thing to go through emotionally.

In my personal opinion, every relationship is workable! Some people say there's a soul mate for every person, and that may be true, but I believe that even if you haven't found your soul mate, with positivity, persistence and respect you can make anything work. I'm not saying this to judge you, and hopefully I'm not jinxing my marriage by saying this, but i believe there's nothing Bryan and i can't work out as long as we put our pride behind us. Now if Bryan was someone different, I can't say the same would hold true, but I would still be the same person and if we couldn't talk it out, my last resort would be divorce!

The problem is the perception that every marriage is based on love and an extravagant wedding and dreams of a house two kids and a car and now that dream is ****. So people feel sorry for you cause now they know that your dreams are shattered and there is probably something wrong with you if you couldn't make the marriage work. And they think you must be a wreck. Its more a social perception than an individual thing. I'm glad you're happy though.

I agree. You can't always assume a divorce is a bad thing. Sometimes it is the best thing! Here in NJ it is pretty easy too. We have attorneys at every corner.

because a divorce is a failure its that simple. and if there are children involved its even worse. maybe you saw your mistake early thats good.you can start over. do not settle for anything less than true love and happiness because its out there waiting for you to find it good luck

In most divorces, people are hurt and that's why it is just common for people to say that they are sad to hear that... it's them being polite and caring for your feelings