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Rev Kev
Lv 5
Rev Kev asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago

Should abuse be excused?

Growing up, I was constantly reminded of how worthless I was. Nothing I did was good enough. In fact, while tests showed nothing abnormal, I was told by my father that I was born defective. Living with that over my head affected how I grew up.

Not only was I derogated while growing up, but I was put down for my actions. Yeah, I should be spanked for stealing. But for speaking out against my father. I couldn't even say that my friend's father was better, because my own father threatened to punish me for thinking that.

My father demanded unconditional love from me. He said that if I loved him, then I would not speak ill of him. He said that if I didn't love him, then he would punish me. I had to lie about loving him so I would feel safe.

Since then, I moved out. I don't consider going back to my father after all his threats. My brothers still live under his roof and don't even see how dangerous he is. They love him where I left off.

Is such abuse acceptable?

Update:

If such behavior is not acceptable from a human father, then is it acceptable from a divine father?

If a religion centers on a god that acts like this, is it really a god worth worshipping?

Update 2:

Oh, do not fear for me. My own father was a saint in his day. The father listed here is the Biblical god. Since I realized the flaws within Christianity, there is no fear of me going back to that religion.

But it is interesting how the Christian god is portrayed as an abusive father. Christians everywhere experience this problem as they are told that they are born sinful, that they will never be good enough for God, and that seeking alternate answers in life will result in eternal punishment.

Actually, punishment is the word to use if it is used to correct behavior. As Hell is eternal, there is no room for correction. Punishment without the intent of correction is simply abuse.

Thanks for you concern, but I feel a lot better since I left that life behind. I know some people prefer to be in the abusive relationship with God, and good luck to them.

5 Answers

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  • me
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    (((hugs))) I'm sooo sorry this happened to you.

    I think like you do though ... I don't know how to post links so go read my question "Does the child go to heaven or hell?" from 2 weeks ago. It's along the same line of thinking.

    Best wishes for peace & happiness in life :-)

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    There are abusive denominations. That does not mean they are reflecting the true character of God. I can tell a similar story and yet at a certain point in my life I decided to stop listening to hand-me-down doctrine and find out the truth for myself. The true character of God is much different than you describe.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I grew up with the same, some are better parents than others. I say come to the heavenly Father and find the love you are missing. If your brother is happy, let it be.

  • Ayesha
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Abuse is never acceptable. I'm so sorry that you had to endure this. However, God doesn't abuse us. I feel really bad that your father treated you like that. I hate abuse of all kinds. People are precious and should never be treated like they are worthless. I wish abuse would stop. I really do.

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  • SpiritRoaming
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Absolutely not acceptable. Don't go back.

    God is nothing like your father.

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