Please read, Am i a bad mother?

By wanting to send him some place to get the help he needs to be a safe helpful member of society you are doing your job as a mother. You get that you can't fix what is wrong and maybe a treatment center or boot camp type place is just what he needs to get him back on the right track.

Just saw the new details and have to say even if the probation officer can't help YOU need to find a place to get this boy in NOW. Do a google search on residental treatment center for out of control kids and go from there but this is your child and he needs help so you as his mother need to get it for him no matter what others say or think inculding him!!!! Good luck I know it is not easy. Email if you want more help or some one to hold your hand through this.. you need support and help as much as he dose right now.

You may not have a choice as to where you want to send him, he sounds a lot my friend's nephew who just got sent away by the state. Your son may be down the road, you wil find out when you talk to the probabtion officer. ANd no you are not a bad mother; he just knows that he can get away with pulling this stuff when it is just you around, since he does not do it when your husband is there. Yes, he is your son and yes you will always love him but you do need to be sure that your home is a safe home for your other child and for your baby. My parents were going to send me to military school; (I was nto doing the things that your son is though; I just kept getting keicked out of school for not following the rules but I respected my parents at home) I was looking forward to going to military school, I viewed it as a challenge. (I didn't get to go b/c money was too tight and my parents coudnt afford it) The thing is your son needs someone to show him that he can NOT do the stuff that he is doing, so yes if you can send him off to a boot camp or something like that and you think that it will benefit him then do it. You can not let him continue down this path of destruction that he has choosen at such a young age. Talk to the porbabtion officer to see what your choices are there, I have been told that some military schools will take a child on a scholorship or financial aide program ( I do not know if tis is true or not just something that I have heard from a friend). He needs help and he needs structure, which you tried to provide for him but he refused.

No, your not a bad mother. You feel the way you do because you do care and boot camp sounds like it might be the perfect thing for him, especially if he is doing things to get in trouble with the law. I started when my son was that age to do the same thing & i didn't & i now look back & know, it would have at least have given him the opportunity to change. 9 times out of 10 i am afraid that your son is probably on drugs. If not boot camp then for sure some kind of counseling, but you better do it quick because you can't once he turns 17, no one will go through the trouble then because of his age. Talk to the probation guy for ideas on what is available around your area. Good luck! Remember one thing that, even though it sounds a little corny, it is very true ---love never fails.

You are not a horrible mother! I'm shocked that this young boy could behave like this... I don't think you did anything wrong to deserve this, it cannot be your parenting, because it's ADHD. I used to have a friend called Adam and he had it, he could not control his behavour.

You need to lay down the laws with him, be firm, let your husband know you cannot cope with him. If it gets out of control, perhaps he could live with a friend for awhile, or send him to another camp which teaches teenagers sensibility, perhaps somewhere he'll learn that he can't treat people like that. It might be phase though.

As a 17 year old girl, I'm baseing this on what I've seen at my school. Kids graffiti, bash windows, do horrid things, but some change.

I'm really sorry you have to put up with this. Just please look after yourself first, and make sure your daughter is not caught up in the arguments. The worst thing for a young girl is to hear things like drugs and alcohol.

Stay safe xo

As a son of a single mother, I can tell you that you can only do so much. Boot camp might be the order and discipline he needs to keep him away from a life of harsh times. I have a cousin who had the best of parents but got in with the wrong crowd. You have to do what's best for your son's future. I'd say yes to sending him to military school or boot camp so that he can really get himself together. He won't like it but the thing you have to remember is that you have to be his parent as to being his friend. You're doing it for all the right reasons and not just to get rid of him. You not wanting him in the house isn't a bad thing. You're pregnant and need peace, if anywhere, it's gotta at least be at home. You'll have a new baby soon and you gotta also provide the best safe environment for the new baby as you did for the troubled teen.

You are a good mother because you still care for him! The best thing to do is to speak to the probation officer and get some professional advice on how to deal with a child thats totally out of control. Could it be that you have given him too much attention and he dont like it cos he is grown up. I know this sounds bad, but I would give him the cold shoulder, ignore him and see how far he can go. Let him taste what he wanted, FREEDOM. But freedom comes with a price, no allowance, no one cares, no family love. Make him invincible for a few days and see what happens. Feel so sorry for you, understand how you feel. At wits end thats really sad.

No you are not a bad mother at all. Sounds like he has been into the drug scene awhile & is already lost to you. You will be doing him a favor to send him somewhere, anywhere(controlled environment to get him off the drugs-boot camp would work). You also need to think of the rest of the family's safety as well. With the help of a counselor & probation officer you can have him committed to a good hospital like Crittontons(sp?)for evaluation & treatment.

Aside from that if you join Tough Love & put your foot down & say "NO MORE WILL THIS BE ACCEPTABLE IN MY HOUSE!" They will guide & assist you in what to do, but be sure you get him legally emancipated to cover any bills or anything coming back on you & your family. www.helpyourteens.com/tough_love.html

By you not putting your foot down or doing something to force him to stop you are enabling him & his drug habit & criminal actions. He lived with his father before his father went to prison so who knows what he learned there.

He is out of control.

No you are NOT a bad mother, your a fantastic mom because you care what happens to your son. I have recently been through similar issues with my one teenager. I was left with no choice but to send him to live with his biological dad. My son is furious at me, and has pretty much called me all the swear words you can think of. He has tried to come back home twice and I have refused, telling him dad has custody and you have to say with him.

I too have younger children in the home and his behaviour and the things he has done are not making for an unhealthy environment for myself or his siblings. I did the only thing I could do, let him go, but I have repeatedly told him that I love him and want him to do well and that is what you have to keep telling you son. Reinforce to him that you love him and that anything you do is to benefit him.

You need to look out for yourself. Keep in mind your teenager is almost to the point where he can move out on his own anyway. If you want to be bailing him out of jail for the rest of his life, let him continue living with you. I think you would be better off letting the police handle him..put him in a group home or similar. He's now a teenage boy and you have no control anymore. Just as I didn't. You are left with no choice....let him go before he ruins your life and your daughters, and your new baby's.

You are at point in your life where you don't need this kind of aggravation and I would say you need to do something now before its too late for your son.

Good Luck

Sorry to say but you caused the problems by bringing a step dad into the picture and to make things worse...a new baby. He never got to feel important or #1. You can't turn back the clock and even kids from the best homes get into trouble at this age. He is crying out for your love and attention... Does he see his bio dad? Military school might help but not in some cases...You should never put up with him not sleeping at home that makes it seem like you don't care.My son got into a little trouble too at 15, he was getting bad grades too. I put him in continuation school (he asked me!) It was the best decision ever! He graduated a year early while working full time. He just needed direction. He's 26 now, and has a good job. Also he put himself through college. I always knew where he was till he was 18!!! You have to put in the effort so they know they are loved. Then every accomplishment they make...CELEBRATE!!! (my sons bio dad was not around either)

the dad i think here made a mistake .

he totally neglected the family life

i mean yes is not him either but the job he does takes all his time and he has nothing for his son.

sons take alot influence from dad and big bro. if both of them r not good or not home usually then yes they will take affect from society and thats why it happens.

there is nothing can b done i mean may b he changes if u bring change to his life but the monsters already ate his innocence

he has made those things part of his nature and it will b really difficult to get that out.

u will need help of the phsychologists

may b it helps

and keep this in mind the age in which he was to b taken alot care i think he didnt got that i mean the ages of 10,11,12

and now he is all like the others

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvkV4...

read this link too

thanks alot

no u did all u cud but the dad also had responsibility and that he cudnt do well but he isnt to b blamed its the job and the society we ppl made we all r equally to b blamed