wedding registry question?

Looks like this is gonna be a toughie for you, and not matter which you choose you're not going to please everyone.

I did not put cards in the invitations; tradition and etiquette suggests that it's rude. However, I think this tradition is currently changing and will be replaced by the idea that it's okay to put them in. Here's why: people nowadays are on the go. We don't necessarily see each other on a regular basis and don't always have the time for "word of mouth" that has been expected in the past. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying it's a reality. When I didn't place cards in the invites, I actually got a great deal of grief because people were busy and had to spend time trying to figure out where I was registered. In that aspect, I was thought of as a little bit inconsiderate of their busy schedules and their time. When I reminded them of "etiquette", people didn't really care about that aspect of it. The general response was "everyone knows you bring gifts to a wedding, what's the point in beating around the bush".

P.S. Regardless of your decision, don't forget to register for gifts in all price ranges. Those $10 gifts are as lovely as the $100 gifts. : )

Buckle up, honey, because you are in for A LOT of people telling you how awful you are for even suggesting a wedding registry. Personally, when I give someone a gift I want to make sure it's something they a)want or b)can use. If what you really want and need is a honeymoon, I don't have a problem with it. I'm a believer that experiences are always better than stuff anyway. I've happily bought off of traditional and honeymoon registries for friends. That being said, when you are 85 years old and have your children, grandchildren and possibly great grandchildren over to your house there is definitely something to be said about having a vase or something in the house you can say was a wedding gift. My grandparents passed away a few years ago and the few items they still had which were wedding gifts were absolutely cherished by the rest of my family. I'm not saying that you need to have a registry full of pizza cutters or napkins or whatever that you don't need - but a few nice pieces that might be heirlooms isn't a bad idea. I just kind of feel that, in 2011, it might be time for people to unclench a little bit and open their minds as to what is and is not 'acceptable'. The world is a constantly changing place and I don't really understand why some of these rules can't change with it a little bit.

The reason people think it is rude is because it comes off as expecting gifts or "begging" for them. Gifts for the couple are not required, they are merely commonplace. Nearly everyone these days buys wedding gifts of some kind, but it is still considered rude to expect gifts. If someone is going to be extra generous and decide to buy the happy couple a wedding gift, don't you think its a little presumptuous to tell them outright "Hey this is what I want?" While many people do not get offended by that and don't see it that way at all, others still do. They feel as if it is saying that gifts are definitely expected and practically required. People know you are registered somewhere and the registry is mainly for shower gifts. Depending on what part of the country you live in, most people bring money to the wedding in cards and buy a shower gift off of the registry. Those little cards are for the shower invitations. If someone wants to buy you a wedding gift off of your registry, they will ask you or someone close to you who would know where you are registered. That is simple common sense. Now, I am aware that things are changing and that many people no longer consider this rude, but a lot of people still do. I guess you have to ask yourself if you would rather offend a lot of people just to make sure you get the stuff you really want or if you would rather your guests feel that you are simply happy that they chose to celebrate such a momentus occasion with you? I never said that this is exactly how I feel about the whole thing. (Frankly, I'm not sure what I think about it anymore after hearing how passionate some people are about the whole thing.) I am merely trying to explain why people consider putting registry information in wedding invitations in poor taste or bad ettiquette. I hope that helped. By the way, I'm definitely not going to do it, because I know my family and my mother, my aunts, and our family friends would have a hissy fit if I did, so for me, it isn't worth it.

It is totally rude to send those inserts out in your wedding invitations. That means you are asking for a gift, which is NOT DONE by polite people.

If a non-family member is hosting your shower, it is BARELY ok for them to include the inserts in your SHOWER invitations only.

It's best to throw those inserts away. If people want to know where you registered they will ask you. Then you can let the person know.

It is not polite to publicize's one's own registry by ANY means. Not with inserts, not on a webpage, not with a mass-email. Polite couples wait to be asked. Plus, most people know that you can search online and find registries at most major stores without even asking the couple!

Getting married is not about scoring loot.

You really do NOTwant to goof on your wedding etiquette-- people discuss rude bridal couples for generations!

(Even if you are not having a shower. You just NEVER publicize your registry. It is rude. You wait to be asked, then you let that person know the info.)

Most people agree that it is rude to include registry cards with the invite. They can be included in wedding shower invitations and the info can be given out by word of mouth.

I recently got married and we registered at Target and two other places and what we put the registry inserts in our invitation. It's not tacky at all, how else will be people know where you are registered. It's perfectly acceptable and proper. You can't possibly call everyone or expect the word to get around. I made my own invitations and they came out so professional and when I ran out of those cards, I printed my own in color off the website with a picture of the target dog on them. It was really cute and everyone who received an invite commented on how cute they were.

No, you don't include the cards with the invitations. All businesses would love it if you did, but it really isn't right to do. Wow, you really don't like to shop, eh? I think part of the fun is choosing just the right gift for the people we are buying for, whether it be a wedding shower or wedding gift, so we don't use registries.

Those cards are for your bridal shower invitations, not your wedding invitations.

It is not within the rules of etiquette to put gift info. in a wedding invitation. There are people who still do it, but it is considered rude.

Here's why: You should not be asking people for a gift, or assuming they will buy you one just b/c you ask them to the wedding. Although most people who attend will buy you something, this should not be expected. You should invite them b/c you want them to share this special time with you.

Do you want the correct answer. Per etiquette, it's rude to put the target things in the invitations. However, I am doing that because I didn't get the registry cards until the other day. They didn't give us anything.

But, if you haven't had your shower yet, tell your bridesmaids or whoever to put them in your shower cards.

It's tacky to put in invitations, makes you look like a gift-grubber. It's acceptable to go in the shower invite because somebody else is throwing the party for you. Best way to circulate that info is word of mouth.