What would you do?

Ok you can't pick your relatives - that is.....

Yes, this time you CAN pick your relatives.

Thank your lucky stars for the people who raised you - even foster care sounds better than that nest of cockroaches and scorpions.

For closure, go to a good therapist and/or minister.

Learning to forgive is a great way to get started.

In the meantime, kiss your husband, Tell your in-laws how much you love them. Tell those who raised you how much you appreciate and love them. Kiss your children and make sure they know THEY are wanted.

But forgive those who would wish you harm. The get to answer to a much higher power some day.

No, I'm not shoving religion down your throat - but faith and forgiveness can help stop that acid in the stomach feeling.

If you don't want to see her than stop trying. All your life you were told that she died. There was a reason for that. Quite possibly, she knew how her life was going to end up and she did not want that life for you. Even if growing up your life was hell, you have a good life know and your mom probably knew that if she were dead in your eyes, you would grow up and make something of your life. Your mom's life might have been horrible and if she would have kept you, you might now be as screwed up as she seems to have been and still is.

She wants you to continue on being a success story not a failure. If she doesn't want to see you then go back to thinking that she is dead. That woman in the hospital wasn't your mother after all. You were mistaken. This way you and your husband can get back on with your lives.

GOOD LUCK!

No you are not crazy, that shows you DO have closure. Those that loved and raised you are your family. If you want to leave the door open let her know if in the future she can contact you and leave it at that.

Sounds like you are very well adjusted. You put yourself out there and went the extra mile. Good for you. Move on with your life and thank God for the wonderful family you have now.

NO you are not crazy. blood is blood but that does not mean that you should love someone who doesnt love you back. And you should not feel bad for them either, because it was their choice to live that way. You go on with your life and enjoy the people that are around you cause remember we are only here for a little while.

i think you should just do what you feel is right for YOU! your hsuband is probably telling you to do what he thinks is right, but if you dont want a relationship with your mother, that is your call. and if that should change at all in the future, work on it then. my mother and i dont have a relationship, and we are both fine with that. we speak on the phone for a few minutes durring special occasions (birthdays, holidays etc.) but thats about it. it is known throughout my whole family that my mother gave birth to me when she was very young and throughout my childhood, she never kept it a secret that she favored my brother. so i moved out and neither one of us has had any desire to form a relationship. and neither one of us see a problem with that. there is a mutual agreement that our lives are just better without eachother. sometimes it makes me sad that i dont have a mother who can give me emotional support, but thats just the way it is. people tell me "i need to connect with my mother" but i am the only person who knows how i feel on the inside, and you are the only person who knows what you feel on the inside. its normal to feel confused. and its normal to change your mind. so roght now, if you feel you dont want a relationship with your mother, thats perfectly fine, and its also perfectly fine to decide you want to build one later.

good luck.

You're not crazy. And if YOU don't think you need additional closure then you don't. Just forget about her. you're better off.

No!