Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
Mental Health Hotline?
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
- If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
- If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
- If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you."
- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
- If you are a blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
27 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
it would b funny if that is wat a hot line like that said lol GREAT joke
- Anonymous5 years ago
Things You Can't Say at Work ahhh...i see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again... i don't know what your problem is, but i'll bet it's hard to pronounce. i see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. i'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. it sounds like english, but i can't understand a word you're saying. i can see your point, but i still think you're full of sh*t. i like you. you remind me of when i was young and stupid. you are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. i have plenty of talent and vision. i just don't give a damn. i'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. thank you. we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. what am i? flypaper for freaks!? yes, i am an agent of satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. and your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...? do i look like a people person? this isn't an office. it's hell with fluorescent lighting. sarcasm is just one more service we offer. if i throw a stick, will you leave? i'm trying to imagine you with a personality. can i trade this job for what's behind door #1? how do i set a laser printer to stun? i thought i wanted a career, turns out i just wanted a paycheck.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Lol I'd never heard the menopausal and blonde ones before.
:)
- rdrnnr1972Lv 51 decade ago
Unfortunately, I couldn't say the whole thing fast enough to fit it on my answering machine.
- boris the spiderLv 51 decade ago
very good and it put me in the right frame of mind to answer with a star
- Anonymous1 decade ago
thats great well done. work in a call centre and it made us all laugh a lot. yeh its friiiiiiiiiiday
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You forgot one: -
If you think we have wasted your f#cking time press 'Report Abuse' LOL!
