6 yr old son with behavior problems any suggestions on where to find help?

Take him to someone else and have him re-evaluated. Don't accept just one opinion. Maybe your local school district or a local gov't mental health agency has a way of doing that. Put a lock on the fridge. Try to find something that he really cares about and hold it contingent on his good behavior. Sort of like a contract. Praise when he isn't torturing his sister. Unfortunately if positive reinforcement doesn't work, you will have to resort to negative reinforcement, such as taking away things like video games, computer, TV, etc. I knew of a parent that was in a situation similar to yours who emptied out her son's room except for his box spring and mattress. After 5 weeks he finally started to come around. Just be firm and hold your ground. He has to learn that his behavior will not be tolerated. Don't give in to tantrums. Please hang in for your sake as well as your son's.

You are allowed to spank and that sounds like what he needs, a good swat on the butt. Believe it or not, people still do spank, just don't "beat". The first spank is for the kid, the second is for the parent. Only one swat, it's all it takes, get your point across to him that what he is doing is wrong, and after the swat, show him some love, hug him and make sure he understands you love him, but there is punishment for his actions. Then everythings fine. This is not abuse, it is only abuse if you get carried away with it.

So many parents now days are playing these mind games with their kids, the whole time out-your a bad kid thing doesn't work, kids now are having more and more complexes, having sex at younger ages, and being plain ol' rebellious and nasty. They don't have respect for their parents and I believe this is because their parents no longer demand it. Kids run the house.

Give him a swat with an explanation, things will start straightening up after the first few.

Your on the right track, and sounds like your a good loving mom wanting to do what's best for your kids. We all got spankings as kids, and if it were done correctly in our homes, know and understand how effective it is. Best of luck to you,

Toni Lynne :)

Lastly, don't go and get him put on meds, let him be a kid, teach him when and where it is appropriate to be rowdy (however you spell it) and when to be calm, teach him when to be loud and when to be quiet, your the parent, your in control not him (even if it seems at times he is). The meds change the kid, it's like being put on anti-depressants because you are a person that has lower energy levels, but opposite for a kid, if he's lucky he will stay energized through the rough teen years and college, that would be great! Also, try getting him involved with t-ball or kids baseball or soccer, some sport that requires him being your center of attention while playing, and where he can use that energy in an affective way, than during some other times (like the grocery store etc) when he starts being rough or rowdy, tell him to "save it for the feild". This worked for us, good luck again!!

Maybe he is board, and it kind of sounds like signs of being autistic has he ever been checked. Most kids don't act this way unless 1 they can get away with it and have no rules, 2 have a cemical inbalance, or 3 have some other kind of medical problem that they have no control over, and before you fly off the handle punishing him you really need to get to the root of the problem. please don't think I am saying that you unjustly punish him if he is acting as bad as you say he needs to be punished but it's not working so something eles has to be wrong, and if the medication didn't help, he more then likly doesn't have a chemical inbalance. I would talk to a pediatrician that specializes in behavor, it might take him going to an alturnative school even at such a young age, just don't let people make you feel bad about this, as long as you are doing everything you can thats all that matters and no one eles lives in your shoes. GOOD LUCK!

It sounds to me like he is begging for attechin. He just needs to feel loved and cherished. And before getting defencive, I am not judgeing your parenting. Iam not saying your not trying hard enough or giving enough time. But he has obviously learned that he can get your attechin by you having to scold him and punish him. And to a child. ANY ATTECHIN is attechin, even if it is negative. You have to remember he was used to being the man of the house. And then at two, this beautiful little girl came and rained all over his parade. She is so cute and so sweet and so wonderful and everyone wants to hold her and by her pink dresses and love her. And all this attechin makes him hate her. Because he isnt the center of attechin. The reason social workers are telling you that nothing is wrong with him. Is because nothing is wrong with him. Because he is a normal little boy when he is with them, and do you know why? Because he is getting ALL the attechin. And that is so conferting to him. So maybe you and Dad need to take turns spending some one on one time with him. And he needs a little BIG BROTHER responcibility. You sit him down. Tell him why he is a responcible big boy and that is why he is going to get some extra responcibilities. Like helping look after his little sister. Or teach her to bounce a ball. And NOT because YOU want him to. But, " Because your a Big Brother and only a big brother can teach his little sister how to bounce a ball the RIGHT WAY." This will create positive interacting between the children. Tell him," Mommy needs to get the clothes out of the dryer, can you watch over your Sister while Iam gone and protect her from getting hurt." This will teach him to be protective. You just need to learn reverse psycology.

You will be just fine. So will he.

I am sorry to hear that your son is out of control. It is hard to be patient with a child sometimes.

First, I would cut out all junk food from his diet. Too much sugar can cause a child to have too much energy for him to control himself.

Second, I would take away all privileges. No more TV, video / computer games, DVD's, bike, rollerblades, friends etc. Anything he really treasures, take away. Only good behavior earns him these items back. These things are privileges, not rights. Only boys who act good get privileges. Boys who act naughty get nothing pleasant.

Third, keep a chart of desired, acceptable and expected behavior, i.e. played nicely with his sister, picked up his toys, ate his dinner and took his dishes to the sink, hung up his jacket. When he performs one of these good tasks, put a sticker on the chart. When he misbehaves, take away a sticker. Make it clear what the rules are and what is expected of him.

Third, he must earn ten stickers to get the privilege of watching a DVD, playing a computer game, etc. No exceptions. No co-operation, no fun for that boy. Be sure to praise him when he act nicely.

Fourth, be prepared for a few days of "hell" as he will be extremely angry with you. If he hits you or anyone, he has to spend the rest of the day in his room. (That's right, the rest of the day! He can come out to use the bathroom, but not even to eat.) He has to learn that his behavior is unacceptable in society and therefore he can not be around other people until he learns to act nice.

It will take a short time for him to catch on that you mean business, but he will learn and he will start to act civilized. I hope you will soon see a change in his behavior.

Read 'Parenting with Love and Logic'.

He needs to learn why he should make better choices - how it will actually be a benefit to him to be a nicer person. Best way to do this is to suffer the natural consequences of his bad choices.

If he is eating too much food, tell him you cannot allow him to do that because it's not good for his health. Give him an allotment of food for each day & when it's gone, he gets no more. He'll soon learn to balance it all out to keep from being hungry later. Put an alarm on the fridge if you need to, to keep him out.

Fighting with sis is annoying to mom & dad. If mom & dad are annoyed, they will not be as likely to do things that he enjoys doing - making his favorite meals, bringing him to the park. It also means that mom & dad have to waste their time mediating fights. He's going to have to 'pay you back' for the time that he took from you. He can do household chores to pay it back.

Sometimes you have to get creative with the consequences, to make them into something that will help him learn. But, that should be your goal - to make him see that his choices are negatively affecting *him*. Make him see that the only person he's hurting, really, is himself.

I had the same problems with my daughter when she was young. She is now 24 and just terrific. I took her to doctors because of her severe behavior problems thinking that she had ADHD. They said no and blamed me for her behavior. I was watching a show on Phil Donahue about childhood allergies which could change there personality and make them unruly. I bought the book, read it front to back, and started watching my daughter whenever she ate something. My daughters behavior changed whenever she ate chocolate or any food with red food coloring (cheese its, etc). You would be very surprised how much food and childrens medicine contains red food coloring. I became a huge label reader at the grocery store and did not buy anything with red coloring. Life was wonderful again. After about a year of no red dye my dad gave her a piece of red licorice. She flipped out like she used to but was able to recognize on her own that she was different and didnt like the way she felt and even started crying. She asked me to make it stop. It was very sad because there was nothing I could do. It was basically like a drug that had to wear off. She was about 5 at this point. She decided that she no longer would eat red licorice. To this day she is still careful of what she eats. She now eats chocolate and food with red dye in it occasionally. She says that when she eats to much that she start to feel anxiety. This is something that you may want to check out. I am glad that I did.

Oh my gosh, I had the same exact problem with my son Nathan, who is now 10 and doing awesome.

Let me encourage and reassure you -- it's going to be okay.

Because I was aware of the warning signs, etc., I knew several years ago that Nathan probably had ADHD. We tried "natural" treatments, but to no avail. We took him to his doctor, who prescribed Concerta. Nathan immediately did MUCH better and is doing even better now that he is on Strattera, which is a non-stimulant medicine and does not require a "triplicate."

ALSO, we disovered a program for managing challenging behaviors in children called "The Total Transformation Program," which I would recommend to anyone. You can find out more by contacting Legacy Parenting at 1-800-460-2235 or at www.thetotaltransformation.com.

Take care! I'll pray for you and your son. :)

I'll tell you like this. You are the parent and you are allowed to use corporal punishment by law. It is not allowanle however to abuse a child. There is a fine line between abuse and discipline. Just make sure to never dish out punishment when upset. That's when the majority of abuse occurs. Also, don't stress over the little things like him bugging his lil sis. That's natural.

It sounds like he has ADHD. Here is a simple way to help with it. Stop giving your child anything with MSG in it. Feed your son a lot more wild caught(not farmed raised) fish. My husband and I both suffer from this and doing this treatment really has helped us a lot.