My wife and I are secular.?

If my child were going to a public school or daycare and was told by his or her teacher that "God loves him/her" I would be very upset. Not because I hate religion or Christianity but because I don't want my children's mind being influenced by exactly that - emotional blackmail (very good term for it). I want my children to make up their own mind. So I completely understand your concern. It's not merely about one remark. It makes you wonder what else your daughter is being and will be taught.

Although I'm sure the teacher may have had good intentions, this comment was still inappropriate because you never know about how the parents of the child will feel about the remark. The teacher should not assume that all children are raised religiously.

If I were in this situation, I would have a talk with the teacher and/or other school administrators and explain my feelings and ask that they not try to push their religious beliefs on my child. If it happened again after I expressed my concern, this is when I would be angry.

In the statement as reported I can honestly see no indoctrination, no proselytisation, no emotional blackmail. I can see, however, a caring Early Years teacher being herself and trying to create a classroom environment where her children feel secure and valued.

Teachers are people who teach, not robots who impart state-approved information: the sort of person who teaches your child - the quality of their character - is probably more important than whether they are actually a very good teacher. If they are a good person AND a good teacher then your child is fortunate indeed.

Religious Education is part of the National Curriculum in UK, and by law there must be a daily act of worship 'broadly Christian in character'. That is vastly different from 'indoctrination'. If a school offers no religious content at all in what it does or has no awareness of a religious dimension in life, it is breaking the law.

A child of 10 once asked me in school, "Do I have to believe?" I said, "No, you don't." There was relief written all over his face! And this was a Church School, where overt in the whole ethos of the place is Christianity, to which he had been exposed all his school career. Because he had been so exposed, he was genuinely able to make up his own mind.

Why, at a decision-making age, should anyone decide for an option about which they had no knowledge whatsoever? Do you intend to educate your children about both the pros and the cons of teenage sex?

That teacher will also by law be telling her all about other religions too.

I am a Christian who has chosen to bring my children up as secular (I am divorced so I can get around this by them staying with their dad on Sunday mornings), so I am sympathetic to how you want your children to grow up.

The point I want to make is that if you want them to make up their own minds then they do need to learn about the choices that they have. Allowing them a choice doesn't mean anything if they aren't presented with their options in the first place.

I understand totally that you don't want them to come to any decisions yet - they aren't old enough for those choices to be informed ones. But it doesn't mean they are too young to start learning about the different religions and what they mean to people.

I would suggest that you go to the teacher and tell her that your daughter has come home with knowledge of Christian faith that she didn't have previously, and that it has raised questions in you about what the religious studies programme in the school involves. Then you will know that what she is learning is balanced.

My daughter is aware of Christianity through things she has learned at school - the school is connected with a local church (although it is not a "church school" - it's a bit of an odd situation really!), so this is to be expected really, unless I had removed her from all RE lessons (which you are allowed to do by law, but it can result in the child feeling singled out, so is something that needs careful thought). But she also makes Eid cards for me, and could tell me far more about Diwali than I could tell her. I hope you will find that your daughter's school is equally well rounded, as it is a govt requirement these days anyway.

Hi, I can respect your beliefs, dis beliefs for your children until they are old enough to decide for themselves. Thing is whether teacher knows this you didn!t say, if not well this is just one of those passing quotes and I add to the majority it is meant as harmful. Now you being secular have found this to be inappropriate so to speak, don!t think teacher would have deliberately have gone out of their way to upset your beliefs so still, can you not have your child in school where you can be assured God is not spoken about in this tense, or. I suspect teacher may have been addressing the whole class rather than singling out your daughter. This is quite a difficult subject sometimes with peoples different beliefs so I hope this has helped if not, please ignore, good luck.

While I have no children yet, I can see your point of view. I'm not a religious person at all. I was raised a Catholic, but as a child the religion was imposed on me. Now older and wiser, I no longer feel the same about religion. Children are too young to understand the differences between religions, and I admire your decision to let them make up their own mind when the time is right for them. I, too share this opinion and have no intention to force religion on any of my children in the future. The situation with the teacher however needs to be dealt with. As you know yourself, your daughter is too young to understand that "God loves her". Maybe a short meeting with this teacher is in order. I thought it was now wrong to teach religion in schools, as schools nowadays, have many different cultures and it would be too difficult to accommodate everyone. Just explain to the teacher your views and wishes and do not want your daughter to be any way religiously inclined until she is ready to decide for herself. Good luck

You don't say where you send your child to school, so it's hard to say whether or not the teacher was justified in mentioning God to your child.

That said, your child will take cues from you and your wife. If you react to what the teacher said, so will the child. If you let it pass, the child is unlikely to spend much more time on it.

Edit:

I'm not familiar with the rules in your part of the world, so I still won't comment on whether the teacher acted inappropriately.

Either way, it seems to me that you need to have a talk with the teacher and let her know that you would prefer that she didn't discuss God with your child. If you're feeling charitable, you might also mention that you understand that she's well-intentioned. Keep calm, but state your simple truth-- that you'd like to give your children the option to make their own decisions about God and religion when their old enough.

I think it is a harmless expression that is supposed to make someone feel comfortable.

I appreciate your desire to be secular and kudos for you wanting kid to make up own mind but the teacher has every right to say to people "God loves you" at any time in any place....so I would not worry about it.

Kid may not even remember it but if so sit kid down and say "Some people think there is a magic man that lives above us and watches over us and some people don't think there is a magic man". That is about a 4 yr old is gonna understand right now

Barbara B> point taken but if religious people can raise kids to know all about God then the seculars have the same rights to stay neutral.

I think you should just talk to the teacher about it, unless your child constantly brings it up. In that case, no matter WHAT you say, it would still be "pushing" a religion or lack thereof on your children.

And no, I don't think it's emotional blackmail. Perhaps the teacher was only trying to make your daughter feel better. I would give the teacher the benefit of the doubt, and assume that she had good intentions.

Perhaps you've raised your daughter so well, and your behavior is so righteous, that the teacher assumed you are religious as well. It does happen sometimes.

Thought the word love is very important in any relationship

As parents you do as you see fit.

It's nice to know about a subject, a little at a time, and put into a language for all ages to understand.

If we don't learn, we are ignorant ie maths, english, history etc.

Therefore why not religion-that is if you believe in a God.

First and foremost we are a Christian country and the teachers have to tell their pupils about religion or the different faiths in the world. Can't get away from that.

You would not have your children ignorant, would you?

They can then choose later what they want to believe. It is not recruitment.

I think you have good intentions, but I'd like to offer you an alternate view.

If you do what you say you are going to do then there's probably a 99% chance your kids will have no religion. Religion is something that has to be studied and practiced in order to be understood. So if your kids don't study and practice religion they won't truly know what it is, and will, therefore, not be making an informed decision. Fulton Sheen once said "There are thousands who hate what they think the Catholic Church is, but there are not a hundred who hate what the Catholic Church truly is." To me that makes sense, because today the world has far different views than those of the church, and those views are far more pervasive. And this is ultimately the problem. The views of the "world" are far more sexy and attractive than those of religion on the surface, but it is ony through religion that you will truly be free, and not a slave to the views of the "world."

So if you raise your kids to be religious, and then they decide not to be religious, that's one thing. But if you leave it to chance it's not really a fair fight.