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my boyfriend may become an alcoholic because he is a social drinker. when should i call it quits?

he is a sociable person...loves to socialize and talk; to anybody! he likes to drink while he's at it. everyday, probably a total of 4 a day (beer, wine, vodka, margarita) but he does not get drunk. he drinks with friends and with meals. he says that he is not an alcoholic, yet he talks about drinks as if he can't wait to drink again. and he bragged about a time he drank everything the bar had and won a trophy...which he is very proud of. it seems like everytime we talk, he'd mention having had a drink or someone who has a case of beer. i do not want to end up with an alcoholic. i love him, but how long shall i wait for this 'addiction', if i may call it that, to end? i also dont want to waste my time.

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, if you love him, you should get him help.

    4 drinks a day is not social drinking, that is already an addiction.

    He may not be a slobbering drunk, but could he stop for a month or two? Ask him to do that. If he refuses, then he is in denial, and you know. If he can't do it, then you know.

    Mainly, try to help him if you really would like to see this through. But if you think you can't handle it, then I would prepare to get out of the relationship as soon as possible.

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to get out of this relationship. If your boyfriend's main goal is about alcohol, then he is already an alcoholic. I dated someone that was much like this for years. He was in denial of his problem, and I didn't want to admit that he was actually in that much trouble. He would say nothing of drinking 7-8 beers. He would always say he wasn't drunk, and he had NO problem finding an excuse to drink. He shouldn't be proud of getting an award that is centered around something as stupid drinking everything at a bar. That is a dangerous way of life, and you don't need to be around someone that is that immature. It's not going to end anytime soon because he doesn't think he has a problem. Until he does, then it's not going to get any better. An addiction won't end when the addicted don't think there is a problem.

  • 1 decade ago

    four drinks a day doesn't make you an alcoholic, although from your description of his behaviour it sounds like he would often have more than four a day - and that might be worry, or it might not be.

    Not getting drunk is not a sign either way, as there are so many variables to feeling 'drunk'. Although, like any drug, the more you do, the more you need to do to get the desired effect.

    Your concerns are tricky because they are valid and there is certainly a risk, on the other hand he may manage it well and may not be a major issue now, or ever.

    If the alcohol consumption is matched with water, excercise and does not impact negatively on his work and life balance then you will probably be ok. It is something you would want to monitor over time though, especially if he goes thru time of stress and/or depression. that could tip a person over the edge into addiction.

    good luck.

  • furne
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Honey, the mere actuality that we are having this verbal exchange potential which you're no longer and by no potential would be an effortless social drinker you're a FUNCTIONING Alcoholic, and at the instant are finding for a thank you to convincer HER you're no longer an alcoholic And for her to locate that acceptible She isn't a fool and you will no longer convice her the two you pick the BOOZE or your pick her. you may no longer have the two. THE strains have been for sure drawn, until eventually now the courting took off and NOW your attempting to diminish back out of the deal given which you want the BOOZE. this is the dependancy. so a ways the booze ruined 3 marriages and who is familiar with what share different relationships. you may fake that it did no longer be you recognize that it performed a important function. YOU left them, --I heavily doubt which you left them for the different reason than you probably did no longer want to hearken to what they had to assert, or they have been getting extra in touch then you certainly wanted them too. here Quote: We talked some "3 drink rule", yet interior some weeks, I went a splash too a ways (tho i did no longer think of so). You agreed to 3 beverages and not extra then broke that settlement ( LIE) interior some WEEKS ( short volume of time) I went a splash too a ways (tho i did no longer think of so). ( have been given under the impression of alcohol yet I easily have been drunker) am i able to reprogram my recommendations to grow to be a "social drinker". ( is there besides to have the booze) Can hynopsis help accomplish that, ( i know i'm an alcoholic yet can no longer end, because of the fact i'm an ADDICT and can't administration my self, i'm going to deceive get it if I could) or perhaps quitting? ( help ME end, i'm no longer able to try this myself) ---Does this sound approximately top? so a ways you have no longer had the could scouse borrow, and fortuitously have not harm every physique else yet you have harm your self and the those that love you, or perhaps humiliated your self directly to many activities to count type, alongside with at artwork. what share situations have you ever pushed living house under the impression of alcohol without understanding a thank you you acquire there, ---do you're able to KILL somebody to accomplish that is a issue, and hazardous to others no longer basically to your self. bypass to AA--- and alter your existence good success M

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  • 1 decade ago

    If he's not an alcoholic he's dang close.

    He is borderline "binge drinking."

    Anyone who talks about it, and brags about it, and has to drink with friends, is an alcoholic.

    How long before he starts missing work, or having accidents, or worse kills someone.

    4 Beers a day at 7 days a week = 28 beers that's at least a case in a week.

    The reason he's not getting drunk is he's been building a tolerance for the alcohol.

    He better get help soon, or he'll do irreparable damage to his heart, liver and brain.

  • 1 decade ago

    As long as it's not affecting his life then it's not really a problem. However his tendency to talk about alcohol regularly, and to drink daily, does suggest that it is an addiction.

    If he's still spending time with his loved ones, not getting angry, not getting drunk, not being an embarassment, not doing things he regrets, going to work on time, paying his bills on time, etc etc - still functioning like an average person, he should be fine. I wouldn't worry unless he starts getting drunk and it develops into troubling situations.

    An addiction doesn't just end. If the drinking is minor, and really only something he enjoys with friends, but it is not a problem, you shouldn't force him to put that aside. If it -is- an addiction that he can't control, you -can't- force him to put it aside, he'll have to do it himself. Either way it's out of your control. Your only decision is whether to take him as he is, or to move on and find something better.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    if he drinks every day and is obsessed with the next time that he will drink then he is already dependent on it.

    If alcoholism is something you can't handle then now is the best time to end it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    dont get carried away about it. but it sounds like his social drinking is turning into a problem. try and stop it before it gets out of hand. dont waist ur time untill this problem progresses. dont worry just take it day by day and if things dont get better then u should call it quits

  • 1 decade ago

    When he starts with verbal abuse...

    Get the hell out...

    This will lead to physical abuse and even death!

  • 1 decade ago

    today is a good day

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