Why does some people who deal w/ deafness, blindness or others going on get mad at themselves or/and world?

I don't know what sort of upbringing you had so can't comment on your situation, but I do know many who have hearing problems that had parents that coddled them...that played the "it's okay, you're deaf and couldn't do better than that." It wasn't entirely their fault.

When my mother finally got me into a school for the hearing impaired and deaf (after a lot of misinformation), the first school parent/teacher meeting involved a speech from the then superintendent of special education. He told the parents, and I quote, "Do not expect your child to graduate from high school reading above a 7th or 8th grade reading level." This is just one example of gross misinformation that was out there, and to some degree still is.

Sadly, the fact that deafness is not exactly a visible disability hampers social interaction. People learn that when they see a blind person with a cane how to act (stay out of the way of the cane) or if they have a dog, don't pet it if it is in its harness, and so forth. You can't SEE deafness. People hear the difference in speech and think "mental retardation" or "speech impediment." They see you not react to their saying "miss!" when you drop something and think you a snob. It can be difficult sometimes.

I was lucky to have a mother who refused to treat me like I was handicapped. Because of this, my reading and writing skills were beyond my grade levels. I focused on my speech to such a degree that people tend to think me foreign before they think me hearing impaired. I was never told "you can't do that" but always "Go ahead, but you might face some struggle."

I, too, find it frustrating when I am with a large crowd of people, I lose a lot of the conversation, but you know what? So do a lot of the normal hearing people. Watch it sometime when you are next at a large gathering. You'll see clusters of conversations form as people loose interest in expending the energy to be heard by the whole table or room the entire time.

I'm glad you found someone that is encouraging you to embrace your difference rather than be angry at it, but don't rely on him to guide you in that. Jump into it with both feet. Join a deaf community group and get involved with something that he might not be interested in but you always wanted to do. Just get out there and be free. And when people don't understand, be patient and willing to answer their questions, because how else can people be educated about our disability unless we are willing to teach them?

I think the most important things is to know that you aren't alone in your misfortune. Everyone has to deal with things that they should not have to deal with.

In other words, don't take things personally. Your ex obviously doesn't have a problem with deaf people or he wouldn't have been with you. When someone's mad at someone else, they TRY to hurt the other person. Since he knew you well and knew it would really bother you, he attacked your being deaf. You aren't the only one this has happened to, although your exact circumstances are specific to you.

Don't ever feel like a victim. There may be things you can't do, but there are more things that you can do. Focus on those things and realize that everyone has limitations- not just you.

In short:

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

I used to work for a deaf veterinarian and she was great. She was depressed when she was a little bit younger, and she felt isolated, but she pulled herself together and made her life the way she wanted it to be.

We all have different labels, and we all have a dominate label. What some people do is make their dominate label negative.

You should be a veterinarian first, then a friend, then someone who likes nature, THEN deaf. Not deaf first, and then the rest. I think that may be what your friend is trying to tell you. Be YOU, not deaf.

You are asking two questions here, the one on top why// and the one on the bottom what.

Why I can answer a little bit, I lost my hearing in my left side about 20 years ago. Right side is weak. I fit neither in the hearing world nor the deaf. At business meeting I can not follow conversations around the table and it really gets on my nerves. Yeah I get upset but it is not any one persons fault,, I just I have to figure the best answer for the day solution.

The How question is tougher as each person is different and at a different point in their lifes on how to deal with life itself.

I think rule 1 is - be there, and listen.

I do not have deafness like you, nor any other problem - except a weight issue. No matter what, i sometimes gain weight for no apparent reason (eat much, or almost nothing - same happens) and there are days that i lose weight. (far and few between, but still).

That too frustrates me, and sometimes i`m angry about this against the world at large. Problem is, the world doesn`t seem to care.

Lashing out against someone you love is sometimes happening, and if you love the other one, you take it as frustration, not a personal attack, but it leaves you with a bit of guilt.

One important thing - talk, communicate about your frustration. I have no idea about what it is like to be deaf, nor to be blind, or handicapped. I do know frustration. I do know that you sometimes lash out.

When your partner knows that it happens, and it is not personal against him/her, it is easier to accept.

One thing i did when one of my babysitting kids went 'ballistic' - grab him, hold him in a bear hug, until the anger had flowed away. (took me half an hour)

After that, he relaxed, and could explain a bit of what went on. We never discussed this anymore, but he is a bit more relaxed around me. I know his anger was due to frustration at school (he has dyslexia) and therefore not targeted at me.

So, it happened, we dealt with it, we moved on.

I don`t know if this makes sense or not, but if you have additional questions, feel free to contact me.

The way to be positive is to focus on your gifts rather then your disability.

My auntie use to tell me at 18 - 22 that God did not make a mistake and look all the thing I had learned as a result of my disability. It has given me an interests in reading books like "My left foot and "Annie's coming out." My gift in art and my knowledge of Paralympics etc.

I now see how my disability add to my character and is giving me the opportunity to have my art shown in a gallery in July for disability week, do illustrations in a book introducing disability to children to bring awareness of them. As well as been invited to an award luncheon for the work I have done on the book.