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One For You, One For Me. One For You, One For Me?
On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, it's Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard. Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted, though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the devil himself."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
The old man made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
19 Answers
- bb joLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
haha! I'm e-mailing this to the other person I know who collects great jokes! oh, yeah - that would be you, wouldn't it? Thanks once more! :-)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
That night was a wedding anniversary for the old coot so he
invites the boy over to his house for the party. Both were by
the table when his old lady cut a cake with the number twenty-
five upon it. The lad realized his host was weeping. He asked if these were the tears of happyness. "No," he was
told softly, "years ago her daddy held a shotgun as we got married saying it was that or he'd get me twenty-five in State
Pen; if I'd paid more attention to his words at next sunrise
I would have been a free man."
- 1 decade ago
I read this joke before, several had different versions or shortened up, but it is still funny..I like this one better cause the old man was faster than the boy! here is a star for you, good one!
- 1 decade ago
two thieves in a cemetry dividing to themselve the mangoes they have stolen fro the nearby tree.
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- "Mean Girls" FanLv 51 decade ago
That's HILARIOUS!!!!!! I would run to if I thought Satan was coming to get me!!
- chloe1stLv 41 decade ago
LOLOLOLOL ( gasp, gasp ) ROFLMFAO, Star for you....that was toooooo Funnnnyyyy
- Anonymous1 decade ago
funny