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What would you do? We are supposed to be a spiritual family...?
...what would you do with a very sneeky, manipulative sister in law?
My sons father died last year. I keep with all heart felt sincerity, striving to forgive and foreget and embrace my ex husbands sisters. It seems like everytime I start to trust and feel like we have a good relationship one, does something horrible. I don't know if it is deliberate, but it is coming between my son and I.
My son is seventeen and lives on his own. He is a good guy, no drugs, no alchohol, really very good for a young man on his own. He is learning and maturing...I am proud of him!
Girls have been an issue. I don't want him to end up as a father this young and I worry about AIDS, but he is really starting to show some common sense and think about 'relationships' verses a role in the hay. Again, I am really proud of him.
This young lady he is with now is a truly special person and they are falling in love. I want to support them as much as possible! They seem to be so good for each other too.
Sorry thi si s long...anyway, I could not ask for anything more wonderfull in a relationship for my son.
I am worried that my sister in law is already interfering to break them up. When her brother died she took my son under here wing in a possessive way. Not all bad and I have tryed to be understanding, but she sometimes has a way of putting a wedge between him and I. Othere times she turns to me as his mom to influence him.
She is supposed to be a spiritual peson and this is all a bit over the top! I don't want to hurt her.
Back to the girl friend! My sister in law was acting like she was going to try and get rid of her. I told her I really liked this giorl but she was rumnbling...sigh. I stupidly tryed to appease her by talking to this poor girl to appear like I was giving her the behave yourselves lecture and at the same time welcome her....which is what I wanted to do....and let her know I appreciate her and the relationship she is forming with my son.
Thank yo Aaron and karen, thank you!
So far it has just blown up! I am praying so hard that it will be the kind of thing that strengthens all our relationships not breaks them!
I have been wondering about inviting them for supper...and just letting them know how great I think they are.
You know Sapere I think you are right! Although I was not trying to please my sister in law I was trying to settle her down so she would not go in there and do something horrible. Froim now on I am going to let her do what she is going to do and not let her use me! Then my son...as you said...can deal with ther rather than me getting clobbered oin the middle. He knows what she can be like, but really this is between her and him. I am sick of it and he is old enough and strong enough now to handle it.
Peace and gratitude!
Thanks Jean. You're right, I need some time too. It has been a rough year for all of us in many respects. It is sad, sometimes the love is so strong amongst us and then it just all seems to fracture. Maybe that is how we are healing.
Peace.
Thank you Cosmicdrifter...true.
6 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It is really hard, with a situation like this - but I think you are wise to come to the conclusion that it is best to let your son deal with his aunt. The most important thing is for you to maintain your wonderful relationship with him - he still needs you!
That you are so close, you are obviously a great mom - trust in that, and him, and the two of you.
Do all that you can to support your son and his girlfriends relationship -and when your sister in law gripes - you can just tell her you simply don't see things that way. Try to change the subject, walk away -don't give her the audience she is angling for.
She's looking for juice -to get attention, a rise, some sort of cheap shot of power rush off you. You can be nice, no big deal - just don't buy into her game. You sound like the kind of person who can handle that easily. Good luck, and stay focused on your son.
Give yourself a pat on the back from me for doing such a good job parenting.
Peace.
- Sapere AudeLv 51 decade ago
So, ignore your sister in law.
What does your son think about all this. Surely, he can't be completely in the dark.
Just tell them how you feel, and quit trying to please your sister in law. The only relationship that you want to preserve is the one between you and your son. Whoever else he chooses to bring in, will be someone that you have to accept.
Don't try to get in between your son and his aunt, let him deal with her, himself.
- karen_03625Lv 51 decade ago
If you son is serious about this girl, invite her over without him and have a talk with her, tell you how you feel.
Kudos to your son for being so good in this bad world we live in...
- 1 decade ago
oh what a time your having families can be funny after a death everyone changes attitudes i think perhapes we all become in Sucre give your self time i know regards your sons happiness your delighted let them get on with it good luck you deserve some time for you and shut them out for a while
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- 1 decade ago
Just shrug it off. Take care of your son and don't let her get to you. It's all drama. You don't have to put yourself in that situation. Just decide not to be apart of it and go on.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
First, I am sad for your lost. Second, it is the ones we are most attached to that we find it hard to let them experience things on there own. ~*~
