Would you be okay with your husband/wife going out of town to a family reunion with his/her single friends?

Ok... he cheated on you 2 times!!! He is sooo lucky that you are willing to work things out w/ him. He has to understand the confusion and insecurity he has brought into this marriage! He should be working on gaining back trust and respect from his wife! Not worrying about running around w/ his friends to a family reunion!

My advise to you is this: don't threaten to leave him if he goes, that will just piss him off, make him feel controlled and make him go out of spite.

Explain to him that you love him unconditionally and remind him that you were willing to stay w/ him even after he cheated not once but 2 times.

I would not recommend throwing his mistakes in his face all the time, but in this case, a little reminder wouldn't hurt.

Next, seek marriage counceling. Someone has to explain to this man that he has to respect and honor you!

If he can't do that, then sweetie as hard as it may be, (and I know its hard!) you have to do whats best for you. If he can't man up and be a husband that you deserve, then he doesn't deserve you!!!

His comment about YOU are the one who's supposed to be working on working it out for yourself, regarding his extramarital affairs, is a huge red flag for me. I'd say you have worked it out...pack your bags, sister, and don't wait to do it when he's gone. Show him you are not weak or his doormat and leave before he goes. Give him something to think about on his trip. He's definitely not trying to work on the marriage and the intimacy. He's acting childish and, frankly, like someone who doesn't give a fig about your feelings. That's not how marriage works. If you don't trust him don't waste any more precious time. If he tries to win you back, don't cohabitate until you 2 have had a good round of marriage counseling and he has changed his ways with lots of proof to that effect. Don't tell him what you want him to do. If he can't figure it out on his own, how to be a man and love a woman and make her feel special and be intimate (not sex, but sharing his life), then you can make up your mind from there. Let him court you all over again for a very long time, like a year, before living with him again. If he is not loyal during that time or doesn't satisfy what you really want in a mate, then let it go.

Here is the deal...who is the bigger fool in this relationship??? No offense.....you two apparently have very good communication if you have to text each other. So, he wants to go off to Arkansas...you threaten him that you won't be here when he gets back....what is that??? Sure if my husband had that type of history....I wouldn't be so confident either...but what the hell. It doesn't sound like you two are even friends. That is supposed to be the basis of a marriage...and apparently you two are missing it. Maybe it is time to move on. When we get old in our relationships...sometimes all we have left to share is conversation......do you have it?? Honey, if you are unhappy and you have been mistreated or neglected with no repair...make a choice to better your life. You shouldn't have to threaten your husband to get him to stay....you two should be putting each other before all other's.

Best of Luck!!

Okay after reading this I have to ask you one simple question. If this is how you feel about him why in the heck are you staying with this guy? It seems to me that your decision is already made and that you are seeking permission to tell him to kiss your happy a$$ and hit the road.

Don't talk about it just do it. If you keep talking about leaving him you never will and then you will wake up one morning and find that you have wasted your life on a guy who never has and never will appreciated you, but kept you around because you are a convience. You are way better then that, so face it sister it is time to call it quits and find yourself a better man. Good luck!! And as Gloria Gaynor said, "You will Survive!"

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My question is why are you still in this relationship? Neither one of you are happy in it from what you wrote above. I read nothing about companionship, caring for the other etc. I read resentment, anger and disillusionment

If it is monetary reasons that keep you together it may be time to seperate/divorce and cut the emotional ties and accept the financial losses.

Life is far too short to live a life such as you describe for either of you.

Best of luck to you both.

Sounds like you have a real problem going on there. When a man or woman wants to spend time alone without you that's a BIG red flag. You'd better seek some help for your relationship because it does not sound healthy at the moment.

Why are you living like this? If he has cheated, and you guys are having all of these other problems that he doesn't seem to want to fix, then why would you stay? If he wants to get couples counseling or something, that would be one thing...but you make it sound like he doesn't want to work on your relationship...so I would say sit him down and talk about all this and how you are feeling, suggest counseling...if he doesn't seem interested in talking to you or someone else...i would think that you should move on with your life.

I think the issue is WAY beyond the reunion. I really think you two need to get some couples counselling. It sounds as though you are on the road to major major troubles. Divorce even. I hate to say that but you guys need serious help.

pretty tough situation , but here is the deal , if he is gonna cheat he can do it right there where he is , bottom line , and as far as the trip , well i wouldnt go for it myself , but hey fair is fair right , u seemed to think it ok for u to go on a trip with single friends ,