What's the funniest thing a drill sergeant/DI/TI ever said or did to you in basic/boot camp?

he fart front of us with comment

tuned brigade on duty

I can't remember, but I do remember a lt Col who was not satisfied with the speed with which we were re-mounting a deuce and a half so he decided to show us how.

He backed up about 25 feet from the back of the truck, ran at it full speed jumped and missed the metal stirrup on the lowered tailgate.

His Sgt. Major was a big man and the Col was small. The Sgt. Major was so excited that he ran over and picked the Col up with such gusto that he raised him up over his head like he was a little baby.

The Col said no more after this. He just walked back to his jeep.

It was one of the funniest things I ever saw in the military. Right up there with the time we stole a turkey out of the officer's mess on Thanksgiving eve. lol

"get your dick beaters out of your pockets"....

oh wait this is a good one:

Our DI was showing us the e-tool and said you could chop a tree down with it.....I think someone made a face or something, because them he goes "Oh, you don't believe me...watch this" then he went over to a tree and started to chop it down..... we were in the middle of the company area not the woods.

other funny stories;

In Iraq we had a guy lose his rifle.....the Platoon sgt made him carry around a M2! He even made a sling with it....that was pretty fun to watch at the clearing barrel

Well when I was in boot camp, and I'm sure anyone else who has, knew of other recruits who could mimic the DS's (I'm talkin a freakin' Oscar performance). Anyhow ....my name was called and I said "Yeah Man what's up?" to the fellow recruit turned thespian only to find that he hadn't been the one to call me ............. Yep did a lot of push ups that day, but it was funny.

we had a guy in basic who everyday found a way to piss off the head DS for our plt. it resulted in him having to low crawl around the bay every night 25 times screaming " I WANNA BE A KILLER, DRILL SERGEANT!!!!" this went on all the way up to the week 8 FTX when he was on guard duty and our DS along with 3 other drill sergeants were playing op-for tried attacking his position this private being extra vigilant, knowing the DS's were planning something, saw their movement and directed the rest of the guard detail to move to stop the DS while he snuck around and came up behind the DS's. all of his low crawling practice came in handy. he low crawled right up behind our head DS and said "Drill Sergeant, am I a killer now?"

another one was when our plt decided to go steal the phase banners from the rest of the platoons. we were successful in obtaining them, but not so successful in hiding them, as shortly after we returned from our mission our DS came in and asked for our phase banner to make sure we still had ours and we gave him the wrong one--twice after that we were busted but because we were able to get all three of the others without ours being stlen we did not get smoked. he simply said "If they get stolen back, you owe me."

one of the guys in basic earned the nickname Gummy Bear as his mom would send him a pack of gummy bears every week. after week three the DS told him that if he got one more pack of gummy bears he would have to push for every gummy bear that he had been sent. the next week he got a pack of gummy worms. DS was pissed he said if the private received any more candy before halloween he was gonna pay. two weeks later the DS received a five pound bag of gummy worms. he came out and asked who had sent it to him. no one knew, except gummy bear. he had had his mom send them to the DS from his aunt's house some two hundred miles away in a different state.