How can I get the school to see that this isn't a problem?

Have you talked to the principal? Sometimes that helps. She's your kid, not theirs so they shouldn't be able to make her go to counseling without your permission. I would also explain to them that they aren't really promoting individuality, but instead making it seem like there's something psychologically wrong with her because she's not acting or doing all of the things that the other kids do. In the end, they could potentially end up making her feel like there's something wrong with her (in a bad way) and then really mess her up psychologically.

You need to express to them exactly how you feel. Maybe with a sit down with the principle,teachers,and the counselor. That way the counselor can even back up your claim that their is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone at times as long as it isn't all the time. Remind them that she has grown very much so since she was in pre-school. She has just learned early on what a lot of people take forever to realise, that everyone doesn't deserve to be in your close company. Tell them that as the parent you are okay with your child's behavior and don't wish for them to take it upon theirselves in changing YOUR child. That is the last of the conversation you want you or your child to hear of it. Also, by them pushing her to do this they are furthur labeling her and alienating her..she doesn't need others trying to change something thats not a problem at such a crucial age in her developement.

Are you moving within the same school district though? In our district, when kids switch schools, they fax the child's record to the new school, so the counseling would be listed on there, as well as the reasons why she is going to these sessions. However, if you are moving out of district, you will be given the records, or should be at least, and so you can choose to not give them that paperwork.

And my daughter will spend time doing her own thing at school and at home as well. She isn't worried about personal space, she loves to give and get hugs from friends (except one who is really exuberant and tends to accidentally hurt the friends she hugs). But I think it shows that kids are way more aware of themselves and others to know what they want to do and when. It is something to be encouraged, not quashed.

Good luck!

I'm much like you're daughter, except older. I love being around my friends, but I'm not a lovey-touchy kind of person and apparently, neither is your daughter. There's nothing wrong with her wanting to be alone sometimes. I'd seriously suggest getting a large staff meeting with her teacher, cousenlor, principal, and other staff involved to show them that there is nothing wrong with your daughter wanting a little space sometimes. Don't let all the adults do all the talking, though. Ask your daughter why she wants to be alone and if she'd rather be alone sometimes. She knows that she wants some personal space. Her school doesn't seem like a very good one, in my opinion.

Just because other kid's parents don't give them enough attention and they crave every speck they can get, doesn't mean your daughter is in the same positon. If they can't see things your and your daughter's way, send her to another school. It's not worth it for her to have to stay at a place where she's constantly pestered to be with a friend.

There's nothing wrong with her not wanting to hug or sit/stand close to someone. I won't even let my mother kiss me, not even on the cheek. I pretty much try to avoid good-bye hugs and no one is allowed to stand closer than four inches from me. Some people I'll let hug me once in a while, but otherwise, I just wonder why people can't just keep to themselves.

I'm very independent myself and would rather sit alone in my room doing nothing than forced to play outside with a bunch of kids I don't know. No there is nothing wrong with me. I'm not depressed or something similiar. I like being around people I'm comfortable with. It takes me a while to warm up to people. I can't relate to many kids my age, actually. A lot of them are gross and are quite rude and mean sometimes. Kids my age and older tend to intimidate me. I will usually only hang out with my friends, who are usually in my grade, or one below or one under.

Well, now that my latest biography is over, I've come to the conclusion that you're daughter just might be a bit like me in that she's more independent then some adults think normal. At her age, you'll usually find kids wanting to be around other kids every chance they get. Some just like quiet time to themselves where they can think there own thoughts and imagine instead of being interrupted constantly. Nothing wrong with that.

Barring acts of violence, she shouldn't be forced to do anything without your consent. Even the counseling is by your consent. Talk to the teachers, counselors and principals. If needed, go to the school board with your concerns.

Request documentation to show how they seem to think she needs counseling.

It could be that the school is trying to fulfill a quota.

Good luck.

Talk to the counsellor. By the sounds of it your daughter is a very healthy girl (socially, emotionally etc) Maybe if the counsellor went into the classroom to observe her, she might see that she interacts with others as well as has "alone time". I drive a $70,000 car (2-seater) to get my alone time I'm sure even the principal goes into their office and shuts the door for some "alone time".

I think you need to request a meeting between you, the principal, the teachers, and the counselor. It doesn't sound like they are communicating among themselves. It might be beneficial if the counselor explains what she sees so that the others can understand that it is okay to be alone at times.

Ugh. Welcome to the wonderful world of teaching conformity at a young age.

Steve Miller has a cute story in which his child liked to color outside of the lines in coloring books in class.

The teacher sent a note;

"Your child likes marches to his own beat,but we'll have him following the drummer soon enough!" With a cute little picture.

The only thing you can do is instruct the school to leave your child alone.

But you'll probably have to switch her to a different school or she'll never get any peace from the staff. This sort of treatment can create problems where there aren't any.

sometimes the schools see things that us mums can't as we are too close to see it. Councelling is not a bad thing and should not be looked on this way. I know it can be hard to think that something is wrong but when a school see's hundreds of kids go through the school they know when something just isn't quite right. Accept the help even if there is no real problem it is not going to hurt her

i was not a social child. schools tried the same with me. if the counselors arent hurting her and if theres no cost then just let it go. Schools have issues with children that dont fit within their little box forms, and if they dont they think they need to be adjusted so that they do. if the counselor is doing harm, demand that the school stop those sessions immediately