My nephew is four & don't have the whole toliet thing figured out yet...?

Question

Please help me. My nephew is four and he had some medical problems when he was born that slowed him down but quite frankly we are tired of changing diapers. He knows what he is doing. He goes pee or pop either one and then changes his pull up or tells us right after he squatted that he pooped. He pooped at the park the other day and I had had enough. I took him home immediately and changed him and then put him in bed and told him that if he wanted to act like a baby then I would treat him to naps like a baby. He didn't end up taking a nap right then but he laid there for quite a while. But it didn't help the next day he came to me again and told me that he pooped. Is there something that I'm not doing right? His mom is back to putting diapers on him and telling him that he is a baby and that babies wear diapers, but I don't like that because it is really hard for him to go in the toliet. Mostly we have problems with the pooping...Thanks for all help in advance.

Update:

He isn't brain-dead. He had heart problems when he was born. For a while he went to the potty and went everytime. I know that he can do it. Is he maybe lazy?

carryon50 · Accepted Answer

Every kid learns to go Potty at a different age. When my daughter reached the stage that he did, she was almost 3, I took all diapers away. I know how frustrating it is when u know that they understand, but just dont want to go. It makes for a messy week, but he will eventually go, nobody likes pee or poop in their underwear. Everytime he goes in his underwear, just make sure to sit him on the toilet so he can put two and two together. I didnt spank her for the mishaps or make her take naps because I think that discourages them. It only took about a week or 2..Good Luck!
P.S. You must be persistant, so make sure the mother is not putting him in diapers either!

starfire978 · Answer

First off you guys are reinforcing what he's doing with negative punishment. Especially if he's had development issues he's going to have a hard time with going poo in the potty. Toddlers don't associate the feeling of needing to go with get to the potty. They have figured out that they tell someone once they've gone so that it is cleaned up. It takes a while for boys to figure out how to poop while sitting down on the potty and which muscles to use to do it! My son is now 3 and a half and only just figured out the poo and that was because of getting the stomach bug and having cramps to tell him to go sit on the potty. Be patient and every time he does go in the pullups remind him that big boys go in the potty and lets go sit on it to try. If he normally goes at a general time consider sitting him on the potty with a book around that time and it may distract him enough that he isn't focused on doing it.

Anonymous · Answer

He is no longer a baby and obviously knows what he is doing.  Reinforcing the behavior is only going to perpetuate it. This is what worked for my daughter (she was trained at 18 months - I kid you not):  get a potty training potty and leave it around for the child to sit on even if he doesnt have to use it.  Leave it in the livingroom or in front of the TV wherever the child hangs out the most.  He will get used to it being around.  Then afte a while move it into the bathroom.  He should get the hint.  Eventually he will get tired of changing his own pants and start using the potty.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a brain-damaged grandson who had similar issues.  Humiliation does not work.  He already feels ashamed.  Be calm about accidents, be firm without shouting about the need to use the toilet, (biggie coming) give positive rewards for doing what he is supposed to do.  (handful of M&Ms etc)

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My nephew is four & don't have the whole toliet thing figured out yet...?

4 Answers