How do I get over my apathy for my sister-in-law?

I don't think that what your in laws do financially for their daughter has anything to do with you, but it's not fair if they are complaining to your husband about it who then discusses it with you.

It's your husband I feel sorry for - how does he feel if his parents are giving his sister financial help and not him.

Sounds to me as though your sister in law is laughing all the way to the bank whilst everyone else has a little moan about it. Perhaps your husband should ask his parents why they are treating her more favourably to him.

As far as your own feelings are concerned, I think just try to support your husbands feelings because he's so much more involved in this than you.

Honestly and for the sake of the family, I would keep my mouth shut. Obviously she is working, but maybe there are things going on with her that you and your husband don't know about - debts, etc. Her parents could really be helping her out of a tight spot. Since they are complaining though, I might advise your husband not to discuss it with them either except to say, "If you are unhappy about this situation, you are the only ones that can change it." Other than that, you want to avoid any and all animosity with the in-laws... Remember they will have access to your children!!!

Stay out of it. That is between her parents and her. Walk away every time it is brought up. It's a losing situation for you to be in, either way. Ask your husband not to bring it up to you to just discuss it with his parents. Obviously if his parents are annoyed with this situation then they should speak to her and not to always talk about it to your husband.

Tell the parents to either stop paying the mortgage or stop complaining about it but, in either case, tell your husband you are not interested in hearing about it anymore.

Tell your husband that you aren't going to discuss this with him and if he has something to say he should say it to his sister. Because there is absolutely nothing you can do to remedy your in-laws' problems with their own daughter.

I hate it when people complain to me about things I can't do anything about.

do the parents feel obligated or something, if i were u just listen to husband and do nothing.