is it ok to marry a 40 yr old guy when you are still 21. both of you have different races....?

It's not a question of being ok. And Ok woudn't be enough to marry anybody.

You seem to reproach this guy with his age and his skin colour. Those things won't go away or change.

You marry someone because you love that person. Because you take pride in being with that person, because what that person is makes you proud of them and being with them.

So, if you are asking that question, it's either because you mustn't be that much in love, or because you're still immature.

In which case it'd be a mistake to marry whoever and particularly a person with such a age gap between the two of you. I'd say he must be quite mature at 40.

If you are worried about what people might say, then just leave it, he's not for you.

When you love someone, it is unconditional, especially if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person.

I don't think you do here.

Good luck.

Yes, there is nothing wrong with that, BUT...most of the time when you see this situation, (extreme age difference), there are many issues as to why someone that is 21 would want to be with a 40 year old person. Rarely is it due to "love", usually there are many issue (past experiences) that lead a person to think this way. Race is irrelevant, strictly the age. I would seek a professional opinion before you make a final decision. They may bring some things to the table. Aside from a mental aspect, there are many physical things to consider, a example is that its not recommended to have children after the age of 35 as there are many complications with pregnancy and birth defects/down syndrome. Just some things to think about. Hope this helps and good luck : )

If you have been together for quite a while and are both definitely sure you want to spend the rest of your lives together, then it's OK to get married. As far as being different ages and different races, this should not stand in the way of true love.

However, if you are only 21, then its unlikely that you have really had enough experience of life and relationships to adequately judge what you want for the rest of your life. I would urge you to wait for 2 years before you get married to this man. If it is true love, then it will survive and even grow stronger during the wait. If it's not true love, then you will be better off finding out BEFORE you get married.

People say that love knows no ages or races, & they're correct. You can love someone despite their differences. Knowing what is right for yourself is entirely different.

I would wait until you are at least 25 to get married, since at 21 there are so many life experiences that you have yet to have & there are parts of your personality that you have yet to discover. Also, do you really know him as well as you think you do? How long have you known him? How long have you lived with him? Living with someone & merely dating them are two different worlds. Speaking of different worlds, you will be facing a lot of prejudice out there for both the difference in races & ages. Are you strong enough to put up with that for the rest of your life? Are your families against it? Are you willing to alienate a family member?

Other factors to consider are financial & educational aspects. Go to school & get an education first. More relationships fail because of a lack of money & a lack of education. Financial aid is harder to get when you are married, since the gov't assumes that if you are getting married you can afford school. The more education you have, the more likely your relationship is to succeed. (Wierd but true.) Also, wait until you have children until later in life. You are your first priorty right now. The later you wait & more stable the two of you are, the happier those kids will be. If he's not willing to wait then I'd be extremely cautious about that relationship. Love means that you are willing to wait.

If the two of you are willing to wait until you have finished school & are of a better age to marry, then go for it. Don't marry too young.

I think if one of you is a different race it can work, but if you're BOTH different races, that's another matter.... ; )

Smart-*** comments on grammar aside, I don't think that race is an issue as much as your age difference. Even then, it's not the age itself, it's the fact that at 21 you're not yet "fully formed". I don't think that means that it can't work, but I do think it makes it more difficult. I also wonder how long you've been together, and whether you have common friends and goals (eg does he want children in 10 years' time, when you're likely to want them?).

Yes, it's an advantage. Women age faster than men, and men often trade them in for a newer model after a while. With such an age difference, he's much less likely to do that.

The race difference is not very important if you have the same interests and values. The higher up the social scale you are, the less these differences (age, race etc.) will matter: i.e. the more educated your circle of friends, the less they will be bothered about differences of age, race (or whatever) between you.

as to race - that shouldn`t be an issue.

Except if both are from really different cultures. Then you might be in for a difficult transition time.

The age difference is almost 20 years, which personally i think is quite a long time.

The basic thing is - do you both love one another, and are you willing to fight, together for your happiness.

You will face 'weird looks', comments, and sometimes nasty (verbal) attacks.

If you can handle that - then neither issue should be a problem.

If this question is about you and you really love him, go for it. I have friends who have married someone of different race and my 25 year old friend is marrying a 51 year old man. All of them are very happy.

if the love is there then yes why not...age and race have nothing to do with it...and he wont be imature like alot of guys are...at 40 he should know what he wants by now and settle down .x

Yes ofcourse