Dogs Vs. Computer, "star" if you like it...?

Favorite Food

Dogs: kibbles

Computers: bits

Method used to end undesirable behavior

Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper

Computers: hit control-alt-delete

After destruction of personal property

D: dog not found

C: file not found

Favorite trick

D: roll over

C: play dead

Comic-page hero

D: Dogbert

C: Dilbert

Fun way to mess with their heads

D: peanut butter on roof of mouth

C: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive

Consequence of virus

D: replace valuable carpeting

C: replace valuable data

Widely ignored government mandate

D: leash law

C: Communications Decency Act

Waste disposal tool

D: pooper-scooper

C: uninstaller (necessary only on Win-tel machines!)

Sensitive internal procedures

D: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional

C: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed "one kind-of like this" once

Method of marking territory

D: lifting leg

C: "Designed for Windows '98"

Unique behavior

D: lick and drag

C: click-and-drag

Inexplicable physical feature

D: dewclaw

C: scroll lock key

Estimated lifespan

D: 12 years

C: 12 months

At end of useful life

D: euthanasia

C: tax deduction